AMAZING GRACE

Enamel, Dentin And Nerves

2011-11-11T08:34:00.007+08:00

The month long school holidays is a week away and I'm so not looking forward to it. Already I'm having lots of noise pollution, fights, complaints and the like as Gab's school hols had started since this week.

It's been a week since Ivan did something very silly, one that he would probably regret when he's older. He doesn't realise the seriousness of what he had done now as he did not seem bothered by it at all. So what did he do?! The silly boy knocked half his front tooth off, and it's a permanent tooth, mind you.

The scene kept replaying in my head over and over and everytime it plays in my head, my heart would start beating very fast. It was just what we did every night, after dinner we would be sitting at the sofa watching the chinese serial playing on TV. As usual, Ivan would be clowning around, but this time round, he got too far. He was taking off his school shirt and he deliberately trapped his hands inside his shirt and said "Mummy, my hands are trapped." Before I know it, he was covering his mouth with his eyes wide open and said, "I think I chipped my tooth off!"

He opened his mouth, I saw the chipped tooth, looked at the floor and saw the missing part of the tooth on the floor and I screamed. "IVAN!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!!!" After my initial shock, I asked him to come to me and I gave him a good hug. It pains me to see my kids suffer. (Van, if you are reading this, it will pain me just the same if it happens to you. I don't show favoritism, you know) Anyway, Gab, instead of showing concern for his brother, picked up the chipped-off tooth, examined it under the light and said, "I can see the enamel and the dentin."

Well, it's been a week now. Dr Jacq did a filling to fix the missing part. The nerves were exposed so there was some damage to it as we did not get to the dentist asap due to the weekend and public holiday. Doc said he might have to do a root canal if complications like graying tooth, boils in gums, tenderness or pain sets in. Nevertheless, there'll be frequent visits to the clinic from now on.. sigh...

I just pray hard that all will be well and hopefully, Ivan had learnt a painful lesson.

My views

2011-10-25T07:39:00.006+08:00

I have wanted to write my views on this matter for a long time now. What views? Things related to topics discussed during the recent GE.

There were so many negative posts on FB on the ruling government that I stopped logging on to FB for the duration of the GE. Sure, it's good to have a critic to ensure that there is a balance and a check on matters. However, when the critics become biased and skewed towards being extremists, it becomes unbearable. Whatever the PAP said, there's bound to be people shooting a million arrows back at them.

I'm a fan of LKY. If not for him (and many other great men), Singapore would not be what we are today. He had sacrificed much for this country, and the least we could do is to show him some respect. From Lee Wei Ling's column on the Sunday Times, we catch snippets of his private life, and all the more I respect this great man. I'm sure he had not wanted to implement many harsh laws, but on a political viewpoint, he had to do it, and thus incurring the wrath of many folks.

Why go into politics? Even if you were to give me a million dollars to be a politician, I won't think twice about rejecting that offer. Having a family is stressful enough, let alone running an entire country. Hence when I read about people criticising the salary of MPs, I feel like asking them, "Can you do a better job for a million bucks?"

Some time ago, I was one of the many Singaporeans who questioned the influx of foreigners to Singapore. Filipinas here, Indians there, Chinese everywhere. But when you think about it, didn't our forefathers come from China too? If they didn't choose to travel to Singapore a long time ago, we would be one of those Chinese immigrants who would be criticised and looked down upon by Singaporeans. The only difference between the new generation immigrants and us is that our ancestors had the foresight to settle in Singapore earlier. Many foreigners leave their families behind to make their living here, so imagine how much they'll miss their kids and wife.

I wish Singapore will continue to prosper and her team of leaders will continue to govern Singapore well so that our descendants will live in a secure nation like we have.

Life Transformed

2011-09-28T15:52:00.004+08:00

Recently I've been watching a lot of shows, namely Cantonese serials from Hong Kong until I chance upon a serial from China called 步步惊心. I've been hooked since. Not only is the acting convincing, especially that of HK actor Kevin Cheng, the storyline is also good and I've learnt a little history of the Qing dynasty when 康熙 and 雍正 ruled.

The xinmsn catchup on Mediacorp website is also a great place to watch shows that we've missed on TV. One show in particular is Life Transformers. I missed a few episodes of series 2 last year and browsing through the shows listing, watched the episodes I missed. Oh Boy, it sure brought me lots of tears. Everytime I watch this show, I would surely cry a tear or two.

One was of a family with a 5+ yr old boy with ADHD. Looking at this boy, my Ivan can be considered an angel. Therefore, I should always remind myself that at least Ivan can be controlled and he's a sweet boy at times and I shouldn't feel so depressed over his sometimes-unruly behaviour.

The next episode was also the last episode of the show. It's about this 80-odd years old lady who has to look after 2 mentally challenged children. She scrimps and saves, letting her 2 children eat fresh food that's bought, leaving herself to eat leftovers. Not wanting to waste food, she can eat these leftovers for weeks, my gosh. What I admire about this old lady is she taught herself to read and try to keep abreast of things by reading the newspapers. When asked by the tv hosts who teaches her to read, she said she looks up the dictionary and off she went to show them her tattered and torn and rather ancient looking dictionary. Hats off to this old lady.

We might be facing challenges at work, at home, with kids, with spouse, with colleague. But the fact that we can make it through another day means we have not lost hope on life yet. It takes a lot of courage to end one's life, and it'll happen when all hope's lost, and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. When we know that there are people who are worst off than us, we learn to appreciate life more, learn to appreciate those around us more.

To all you out there, when the going gets tough, just know that the good Lord will not abandon us. He'll watch over us. Keep the faith. Amen.

It's salty

2011-08-16T11:09:00.006+08:00

Here's what I overheard on Sunday during dinner.

Ivan:Gorgor, do you know that pee is not sour but salty?

Gab: How do you know?
Ivan: While bathing, I cupped my hands together and pee-ed onto them, put the pee to my mouth, stuck out my tongue and licked some. It tasted salty. After that, I flushed out and rinsed my mouth many many times.

WHAT?!

But frankly, if you were to sit down and think it through, it should come as no surprise if it's from Ivan. He will do anything to prove a point. Just a couple of weeks ago, Gab told him his friend said he can make his badminton racket bend. When I caught Ivan trying to hold the racket at the edge of the wall and trying to bend it, I screamed out, "What are you trying to do?!" He said, "Gorgor's friend said the racket can bend so I'm trying it out." "But you can't do that! You'll break the racket!" I reasoned with him.

Later on, we heard a "SNAP!" We saw this boy holding the racket in two parts, looking as stunned as we are.

Tell me, how to handle a kid like this?

So sad

2011-07-05T10:08:00.004+08:00

I'm hurting so badly now, but the person who is causing it will not understand. Who's the culprit? My youngest child.

For those who know him, you might say, 'He's only 8, he won't know.' But if an 8-year-old is able to give a 101 reasons to defend himself for his wrongdoings, I'm sure he's capable of differentiating right from wrong.

Many times he knows he's not supposed to do certains things, but he'll do it, nonetheless, just to push his luck just that little bit further.

He wants instant noodles for his meals. Almost every day, he'll ask for it, and when he doesn't get it, he'll start saying I'm very bad, I won't give him what he wants. I've explained to him why he can't get his instant noodles everyday, but seems like it didn't get into the thick skull of his. It's so simple to just cook a meal of instant noodles everyday. Who doesn't want to do it? This boy just doesn't appreciate the effort I put in for fixing him a nutritious meal. He won't understand how difficult and tiring it is to make sure lunch is different from dinner and today's meal is different from yesterday's.

I've given in to him time and again. I've explained to him the consequences of him being unrepentant. I don't always start by scolding him. I make sure my point is put across clearly and many warnings will be issued before I lose my temper. However, this boy just don't care. He just wants to get his way. His best weapon? Cry. That's what's he's most capable of doing.

Many adults who know him, be it his form teacher, his Sunday school teacher, relatives, or even his dentist, had complimented him on his behaviour. I choose not to embarrass him in front of these people. I'll just give them a smile and give HIM a smile and a twitch of my eyebrow (he knows what I mean from that twitch).

Whatever his teachers ask him to do, he'll gladly do it. BUT when his mother asks him to do the same things, he'll start screaming at her. How would you feel if you were that mother?

Dear Lord, give me the strength to be a better mum and most importantly, give me the strength to be more tolerable and hopefully, one of these days, this boy will finally understand the hurt he's given his mother and be a better son. Amen.

July update

2011-07-01T11:28:00.004+08:00

Procrastination has always been my vice. I've been wanting to update my blog for ages but just kept postponing until I saw Ivan reading, and seemed to be enjoying my posts! =-)

I bought (Ken paid for it) a breadmaker recently and it's not an ordinary brandless one but a Zojirushi that makes 1lb bread, bread big enough just for my family. It's been churning great breads so far. However, the last loaf I made was rather 'cakey', and I was wondering if it was because of the 'Quick Baking' function that I selected. I only noticed this morning why that chocolate loaf was more like a chocolate cake - I used the wrong flour. Instead of using bread flour, I used plain flour. Silly me.

This morning I used the kneading function just to knead some dough for croissant. The dough is resting in the fridge now. I'll post some pictures in my next post. Stay tuned.

Over the Easter weeks, my kids and I contracted chicken pox one after another. It started with Van, when she felt unwell during the Good Friday mass. A couple of days later, at the clinic, doc diagnosed her with chicken pox. Upon realising she had this contagious disease, I made extra precautions to make sure the boys didn't get it since the mid-year exams was round the corner. However, I was too late, as the boys probably got infected long before we realised it. 2 weeks later, when it was exam week for the boys, rashes started appearing and with a 1-week medical leave, the boys totally missed their exams.

My spots started appearing when the boys have recovered. The pox came out fiercer and itchier as I didn't have any vaccination, unlike the kids. Thank God the big ones didn't appear on my already acne-scarred face otherwise I'll be more miserable.

It's July now. In a few months, Van will be sitting for her PSLE. Pray that all will be well and she won't disappoint us.

Till my next post, God bless.

Year of the Rabbit

2011-02-18T11:24:00.015+08:00

As I take a close look at myself in the mirror, I noticed the fine lines, and all the stressed-induced acne, and all the scars that wouldn't fade. No wonder I have people called me 'Mam' and ‘大姐’when not too long ago I have been called, '小妹’or 'Miss'. Sigh.. 岁月不留人..

Did I tell you I am now working from home? My new title is 'Helpdesk support'. With what little knowledge I retained since my last job 8 years ago, I dived into this, hoping that it'll all come back to me. The first month was S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L, and I lost much sleep over cases that I could not handle. It's been almost 3 months since I started the job and I'm happy to say that I plan to quit in March.

The income is a good source of pocket money for me as my savings have been dwindling. However, having a less stressful day and not worrying about other people's business is all I really want. I know my friend who got me this job needs me very badly because there's no one else who would take it up, but I've made up my mind. I want my 'Tai-tai' life back.

This morning I found out that Gab's teacher is asking if the boys have brothers who want to enrol in CHS. This is great news as both Ken and I hope that Ivan can enter Gab's school. When we asked Ivan if he wants to transfer to his brother's school, he said, "Yes". Then he also said, "I want to go gorgor's school because when they go for recess, they don't have to line-up." My goodness, what kind of reason is that?!

Anyway, I was talking about Gab getting into GEP in my previous blog. It has been a good 2 months, as Gab has a very dedicated team of teachers. He is very much challenged in his school work. He grumbles, but in the end, he always finishes his work. A few days ago, when he asked me how to do some Math questions, I took a look and was like, "What are they talking about?" Gab tried explaining to me, but I still can't understand. So I told him, "Never mind, you understand enough!"

I'm going to end this blog by telling you how powerful prayers are. When I'm faced with problems that seem impossible to solve, I always say a prayer to Mother Mary, all the angels to help me and it ALWAYS works. So now, whenever I can, I'll utter a simple prayer or recite the Hail Mary and Our Father to make sure that I don't only pray when I need help! Praise be to God!

Crossroads

2010-11-09T09:15:00.002+08:00

Since young, we've noticed that Gab is different. In what way?

The day he was toilet-trained, he never wet his pants during the day and even throughout the night, and that was at around 2+ years of age where most kids are still in diapers.
I bought a Barney jigsaw puzzle (about 50-60 pieces), meant for Van but the little Gab (abt 2+ yrs then) started to fix it and became quite proficient at it and took a record time in fixing the whole puzzle. When my friend bought a similar puzzle but with PowerPuff picture, he fixed it like he's been doing it his whole life. We were truly amazed. He has progressed to making 3D puzzles now.
Planets, universe, dinosaurs became his interests for the next few years of his life. He can easily give you information on any planets you name.
Recently, he's talking about molecules, kinetic energy and stuff which I've learnt eons ago but have returned the knowledge back to teacher.

Why am I talking about all these things? This is because Gab got selected to be in the GEP programme in P4. We didn't prepare him specially for the tests, and the only thing I did was to tell him about area/angles of triangles and according to Gab, that wasn't even tested.

All these while, I've noticed this innate potential in him but I do not know what, and his school is not doing much to realise this potential. I was hoping for a better school so that his true potential can be exploited. It's so contradicting. Now that he's been given a chance to be in the gifted programme, I'm having a dilemma. Is it going to be stressful? Will his time be so fully occupied with projects that he'll have little time for fun? He's a lazy boy, will he make it?

I've had a sleepless night just thinking about all these. I've decided to let him have a go at it, if that's what he wants. Catholic High will be his 1st choice. Hope I'm making the right choice and not have any regrets later on.

Tired

2010-09-11T14:52:00.004+08:00

Whenever I mention how tired I am cleaning up after the kids, most of my friends will tend to say, "Well, they are just kids. They are like that." But do they really have to be like that?

I'm almost on the verge of giving up. Dead tired. These people (my kids) just don't get it. Day in day out, I tell them, when I've mopped the floor, please, at least have the decency to keep it clean and after erasing, throw the eraser dust into the dustbin. Keep anything that they've taken out back to their proper place. Don't fight. No. All these words fall on deaf ears.

If I don't get angry, these people will just ha-ha everything, think that they always have a mother at home to clean up after them. Is it right? Kids are not obliged to behave like that right? But why do people make it sound like they have the right to behave thus? When I nag, I always seem like the culprit. I thought by having 3 kids, at least one will be good and tell the rest what is right or wrong. Unfortunately, they're all from the same mould. One is not any different from another.

I want to run far away, to a place where I'm not taken for granted. Don't bother to look for me if I go missing one day.

Life is Fragile

2010-08-10T10:05:00.003+08:00

I began my day today with a heavy heart. When I logged on to FB, I saw a post from a friend on the death of her younger daughter, who is all but 34 months old. After reading her note on her little girl, it brings to mind my own duties to my kids. She's a Buddhist and had imparted a solid Buddhist teaching in her kids. I have been a Catholic my whole life. Have I been a good Catholic mother and taught my kids Christian values?

Looking back, I'm sure I had tried my best to impart values based on Filial Piety, Responsibility and Trust. It had not been easy since these kids have a mind of their own. They question and although they listen to what we have to say, they might not want to do what they are told to do.

Being a parent is not easy at all. We are loaded with extremely heavy responsibilities. These are made all the more difficult when kids are tempted by vices all around. I pray to the Lord to guide me and let me be someone whom my kids can emulate.

On a lighter note, I had a pleasant surprise on Saturday during the sunset mass, conducted by Fr A, K's fave priest. During his homily, he talked about 'Treasure'. Then he turned to K (we were sitting on the front row) and said to him, "This young man sitting over here, what is your treasure?" Tears started to sting my eyes when this 'young man' said, "My wife." Fr A said, "Not your kids here?" "Yes, they are too." I was then rather 'paiseh' when the whole church turned towards our direction. Fr A continued, "You," he singled me out, "are one lucky girl."

Indeed I am. K has taught me lots, in being humble, both in mind, deed and material needs. He has also guided me back when my temper got the better of me. I'm certainly very lucky to have him as my other half.

Dear Lord, I have one wish to ask from You, and that is, for the day when K makes the sign of the cross, kneel down and say a prayer along with me. I'll be even more delighted when he finally decides to become a Catholic. I'll wait, no matter how long it takes.

Wet Wet Wet

2010-07-19T11:33:00.005+08:00

Gab and Ivan's school shoes hadn't been washed since the new term started. After my jog on Friday night, I decided to clean their shoes. Scrub scrub, and they were white again. Then I was deciding between putting them where it'll get the most wind, but risk getting wet should there be a downpour, or just place it in a place where it'll have little wind but safe from the rain. I chose the former.

What a decision it was to be! It was to be one of the wettest night ever, and I woke up the next morning, only to find that the school shoes were as wet as ever, since it had little protection from the thunderstorm.

The weather continued to be wet throughout the weekend and when I felt the shoes again yesterday (Sunday) afternoon, they were still damp. Desperate needs call for desperate measures.

[There's a shot of what I did to the shoes, but I can't seem to upload the photos. Will try again until I succeed]

Here's what I did to the shoes, all the while not veering away from my motto of being green. Since the living room fan was on most time while we were there, I made use of the wind from the fan.

Thanks to my ingenuity, the shoes were dry by the time evening came.

Housework mania

2010-07-02T14:51:00.007+08:00

If u ask me if I enjoy doing housework, don't be surprised if I told u 'Yes!". Seriously, I don't mind doing housework, in fact, I rather enjoy doing it. After mopping the floor, I like to hear the squeaky sound made by the feet while walking on it. I like to watch the laundry turning in the washing machine. I like it when it's windy and the laundry goes flap flap flapping with the wind. I love the smell of the clothes after it's been ironed. Simply put, I'm a woman with simple pleasures.

BUT.... wait. There's a catch to all this.

I can't stand it when the floor gets dirty, no, not by dirt, but by those little misters and miss at home, who so effortlessly, manage to dirty it before the day is up.

I can't stand it when I watch those same little misters and miss stuff their newly ironed clothes into their drawers, crumpling them at the same time.

Well, what to do? I guess all these come in the package of being a mum. All I need to do is to close one eye and ignore the mess until I can stand it no longer.

A few weeks back, as I was sweeping the floor, I found lots of staples, in single pieces but still with its original shape. The more I swept, the more staples I found. Before I screamed "WHO CREATED THIS MESS?" something on the dining table caught my attention.

I found this ..

Cute right? It's actually an insect made from a cut-out eraser and staples. The creator is none other than Gab, who is ironically, also our resident 'destroyer'.

As I finished clearing away the last staple on the floor, I no longer wanted to shout anymore. In fact, the 'insect' so tickled me that I even forgot that I was angry in the first place.

Life is so amazing. One moment, you feel annoyed, the next moment, you're all smiles. I'm glad I get to witness and experience the growth (physical, social, creativity, emotional etc) of my kids. It's not all plain-sailing, but it's definitely worth every effort, and tear.

Drip Drip Drip

2010-06-30T11:28:00.007+08:00

It's the last day of June, and what a way to start the day!

After a few days of rainy weather, we finally have a clear blue sky today. Needless to say, I'll do myself an injustice if I don't hang out my laundry. *Drip Drip Drip*. I heard dripping on my kitchen window. When I looked out of the window and counted up the number of storeys, I saw that the 14th had hung out a wet, dripping pole of laundry.

I said to my dear husband, "Can help me to go up and tell those people not to hang out dripping laundry?" With a sigh, K went upstairs. Soon enough, when I looked out again, that particular household had indeed brought the laundry back in. Now comes the twist. K came home fuming mad.

“气死我了！” K said. (I could almost see smoke coming out from his ears.) What happened was when K politely greeted the uncle upstairs and told him about the dripping laundry, the old man nonchalantly said "没有". Puzzled, K said, "对啊,14楼"

After going to the kitchen to check it out, he came back with a different statement now. "我看到没有人晾衣服嘛,所以晾出去.我只有晾一边而已"

"那现在我要晾衣服你可以把它收进来吗?" K answered.

According to K, the man became rather agitated and defended himself and said that since there was no one hanging out their laundry when they hung theirs out, they had the right to do it.

After the woman in the kitchen shouted "收进来了!" K angrily shouted back his reply "谢谢你 HOR!"

How inconsiderate can these fools be! We are living in a world full of selfish people. Sorry 老公, got to face such idiotic people early in the morning!

Love is a Splendid Thing

2010-05-11T12:41:00.007+08:00

Have you ever heard a song or watch a scene on tv and be so overwhelmed with emotions (in a good sense), and have this tingling sensation under your skin, and all you want to do at that moment is to hug the person you love tightly, not wanting to let go? Well, I'm feeling like that right now.. Pity the one I want to hug is at work right now.

It's God's grace that I not only have a man to love, but also produced 3 kids for me to shower love on also. K and I do have our squabbles. Which couple doesn't? At the end of the day, we'll kiss and make up and no love's lost.

When I read about suicide cases, questions will start popping in my head. "Is life not worth living for?" There are so many seriously ill people out there who's hanging on to dear life, not wanting to let go, yet there are many others who have lost all hope in life so much so that ending it is the only option left. How ironical.

I have told K many times before. Whatever it is, don't leave this world before me. I don't want to wake up in the morning, not knowing what to do for the rest of the day. I want someone to pamper me when I'm feeling down. I don't even mind the irritating things he does so very often. All I want is to grow old with him, and to enjoy our lives to the fullest together.

I love my life

2010-04-30T09:28:00.005+08:00

Saw an obituary in yesterday's papers and being the kaypoh me, decided to google since 18 years is a young age to appear in the obituary. What I found brought about mixed feelings. This girl was loved by many and her sister's posts brought tears to my eyes. Wanting to know what brought about her death, I searched further and to my astonishment, found that she actually ended her life by jumping off a block of flat.

This incident made me rewind my memories 25 years back. After school, before I even reached the front door, I somehow sensed an air of gloom. Upon opening the door, my mum informed me that gugu (mum's younger brother) was dead. A feeling of sadness came over me. He was afterall, my favourite uncle who was very generous with gifts. He was a good man, and what brought about his death was his addiction to gambling. He was heavily in debt, and with no solutions in sight, decided to end his life by gas-sing himself, leaving behind a devastated mother, a wife and 2 young children. If he had decided to hang on, he'd probably be enjoying life as his kids are now living life comfortably.

People who end their own life must have lost all hope in life. If one is intent on ending his/her own life I believe no amount of counselling will make them change their mind. We, as bystanders can only ask "Why?" It takes a monumental amount of courage to bring yourself to jump off a building. Imagine the pain upon impact.

I will myself to believe that I am a strong woman. If not, with all the disappointments and setbacks I've gone through, I would probably be dead many times over. The Almighty Up There is always present and He always send his angels to watch over me whenever I'm feeling down. These angels can be in the form of my invisible guardian angel, or my family members or even friends who send me messages once in a while who ask me how I'm doing.

I, like many others, want to know when we breathe our last, what is going to happen? My religion has taught me that we will be all be united in heaven when we die. My only hope is that when I leave this world, I'll leave with no regrets, no heartaches, no words left unsaid. Amen.

Decades

2010-04-23T11:50:00.004+08:00

Celebrated my 40th birthday 3 weeks ago. Let's now look at my decades-milestone.

10 years -

Can't remember much about my pre-teens days except that my fave food was (and still is) fishball noodle. It shows physically as my face was as round as a fishball. My teenage years were also a little hazy, but my years in IJ were memorable, especially in Sec 1 when the school was still situated in Victoria St.

20 years -

Time of my life. Met many great friends. This is also the period when I finally took my last exams (school-related at least). Nothing can make me go back to school again! Tried my hands at different jobs, eg, piano teacher, relief teacher, purchasing executive, finally went back to the area I was trained in ie, Computers. Spent 10 years doing computer-related work, and also found the love of my life, had 3 kids with this man and still deeply in love with him.

30 years -

Had my 2nd and 3rd kid. Also stopped working to stay home full-time. I don't regret a single minute of staying at home because I got to grow up with my kids, and most importantly, got to savour all their silly antics, be it whatever they do or just plainly observing them interacting with each other. I also met a couple of good friends with whom I'm sure will be my life-long friends.

40 years -

Now that I have reached 40, I pray hard my life will be as rich as ever. Hopefully, my kids will grow up to be responsible teens. I also pray that wisdom teeth has nothing to do with wisdom, literally, as I had my last wisdom tooth extracted last night. 8-)

Let there be Light

2010-04-07T09:49:00.003+08:00

Give thanks to the Lord for He is Good.

Thank you Lord for giving me sight for I can see the beautiful colours at the crack of dawn. The clear blue sky is especially accentuated when viewed in between 2 buildings. It's like a portrait drawn every morning for me to admire and give praise to His Almighty works. Dear God, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that I have.

This morning, I would want to pray for my mum who is not feeling in tip top shape. Pray that all the symptoms she had lately are not symptoms of stroke. Let's pray for mum's (& dad's as well) good health, Amen!

FaceBroke

2010-02-23T13:02:00.004+08:00

The person who created Facebook is amazing. I got more involved in it only after much persuasion from Van to play on Pet Society. Only then did I realise the immense capacity with which it could reach others.

I found some long lost friends but sad to say, they are just but "Friends" without much interaction. It's nice to admire photos taken, crazy cracks written, records broken, but, it doesn't feel nice to be deleted from someone's list as a friend.

Recently I happened to look at my list again and found that some friends have removed their acquaintance with me. I feel quite sad and at the same time, queried myself, "Am I not fit to be their friend anymore?" What do you think? Are you still my friend?

Stray Dog Phobia

2010-02-22T11:31:00.004+08:00

Although I was born in the year of the dog, I have to admit that I'm terrified of dogs, stray dogs to be exact. Unfortunately I was tailed by one last Thursday. It was an almost traumatic experience.

I noticed this dog behind a couple and I was thinking to myself, "Heng ah, not following me". I continued along my path and heard some noice behind me and when I turned around, this same dog was right behind me. I picked up my pace, hoping it will choose another target. Along the way, I noticed this girl, probably a maid, looking rather frightfully at the stray, paused for a while and then made a dash to avoid it. Another student walking behind also ran rather fast in front of me. I was thinking to myself, "Wow, these people are really afraid of this dog".

While making a corner, I turned round and realised this dog still following behind me. Terrified now, I let out a cry, "God, please help me!" Walking as fast as my legs could allow me, I walked towards the main road. With dog still tailing behind, I decided to switch to the opposite lane. It was sniffing around the bushes before joining me across the lane. I stopped, it stopped. I moved, it followed.

With heart beating at record speed now, I practically ran and when I noticed the road free of traffic, I dashed across the road and with the other side of the road also free of traffic, I made a heroic dash across again. Turning around, I was so grateful it didn't follow. After that, instead of making my usual route to Gab's school, I took a longer way from the other side of Gab's school, all to make sure the stray doesn't pick up my scent.

Perhaps the stray was just hungry and needed someone to give it food. K said he'll probably stop to pat it but not for me. On hindsight, I was thankful it was not a rapist nor a burglar. I was glad I was still in one piece.

Goodbye ah ma

2010-01-29T11:48:00.006+08:00

I would never go near a dead body, let alone touch it.

However, I was not the least bit afraid when ahma died. When I walked into her room, she was lying on her bed, with her hands folded neatly on her stomach, and she looked like she was sleeping peacefully. I even stroked her arm. She still felt warm.

My eyes were watery and I was close to tears. Many thoughts ran through my mind then. Were there any regrets now that she's gone? Perhaps so. I could have held on to her smooth hands a little longer, I could have spent a little more time sitting by her bed just keeping her company. 2 days before her passing, I was at my mum's, but I was too lazy to go up to ahma's room to spend some time with her.

Her wake was attended by many. Many relatives whom we have not seen for a long time came to pay their last respects. Van was initially hesitant to view ahma in her casket, but after some coaxing, she finally summoned enough courage. Van loved ahma dearly. She cried uncontrollaby for hours after that fateful call from mum, and even more so at the crematorium.

The collection from the wake was put to good use. After deducting expenses, the rest, a total of 7k, was donated to the Singapore Hospice, all in ahma's good name.

It's been 3 weeks now. We stop by at her niche after mass every weekend. She must be having fun in heaven..

PS: See Van's blog

Byebye 2009

2009-12-18T11:16:00.005+08:00

2009 is almost coming to an end. It has not been an entirely splendid year, with its usual ups and downs, but I'm grateful to the Almighty for the many blessings He has bestowed on my family. I'm thankful for our good health, our close-knit family and all the graces we have received.

My kids have all grown, Van is almost my height now. 10 years is quite a long time but it just seems like yesterday that I carried a little crying Van in my arms, trying to calm her with cuddles and kisses. She has reached a milestone in life, and has learnt a very important lesson in life - Responsibility. I'm not going to elaborate what happened but the bottom line is, Van my princess, mummy is very proud of you. I'm sure you'll eventually meet a BFF who will treasure will not disappoint you. I'm also proud of your academic achievements in school. Keep up the good work.

I thought only Ivan is capable of crazy stuff, but I was wrong. Take a look at what I found in my handphone.

I had a good laugh after viewing this. Utter insanity right?

Ivan had graduated from preschool and will start P1 next year. I'm sure he'll have many friends as he has an outgoing personality. He'll definitely miss his TV, computer and toys once school starts. Found this note from his stack of work done in preschool. No prizes for guessing what his greatest wish is..

Hope he can handle the stress of studying. Good luck to you, Ivan!

Gab will end 2009 without his 2 front teeth, again. It's been more than a year and his teeth simply refuse to break out from his gums. Now that we are so used to seeing him without his row of front teeth, I'm sure he look odd to us when his teeth do eventually decide to come out. I'm also grateful that Gab is finally rid of his rashes that he had for almost 2 months. Doc diagnosed it as PLC (Pityriasis lichenoides chronica). It's not contagious though. This was how bad it looked.

Thank God he was oblivious to the many stares strangers had given him due to the rashes all over his limbs and face. I'm glad it's brought under control now, but Doc has warned that it might recur. So let's cross our fingers and toes that it'll not happen again!

Let's hope for a peaceful, healthy and happy 2010!

Bejeweled Mania

2009-10-30T11:28:00.017+08:00

Yes, I did it again! Hiakhiak. My sis said I'm possessed. I couldn't agree more.

Was in Bejeweled Blitz's fan page on Facebook, and I chanced upon a comment from a girl saying if you switch a Hypercube with another Hypercube, everything in the board will be cleared. To bring my game to the next level, I just HAVE to test this out.

I spent some time creating cubes after cubes but these cubes just wouldn't stay next to each other. What makes it even more challenging is I have make sure the cubes are done within a minute. THEN, I did it! What an amazing sight it was. EVERYTHING, yes, every single cube was zapped off the board. Later on, I saw the statistics and found out that zap alone cost 44K in points!

Bent on watching the awesome scene again, I tried, and did it again. Oh no, this is so addictive, more so than setting high scores. Someone please get me off this computer!!

PART 2
After posting, I thought to myself, why don't I have it on video it so that you can see it too? A lot of coordination went into this, and my hands were literally shaking with excitement after I got it on video, in the nick of time (notice the Time's Up).

Well, here's your treat.

Bejeweled Blitz

2009-10-24T11:31:00.008+08:00

In my last post, I talked about my aim to achieve 500K in Bejeweled Blitz. I did it, not once, but 3 times! This is my highest score so far. Since the scores get erased weekly, I've decided to post it here to remind myself I have done it. Now my aim is to achieve a Gold for having a 250K score at least 250 times. Well, this is what keeps me sane, so I'll do it as long as my eyes (or brain) don't fail me!

If you're thinking I spend most of my waking time trying to break high scores, then you're wrong. I do other things as well ok? Anyway, you'll no longer find stacks of wrinkled clothes on my ironing board anymore. I have now diligently iron clothes once it's dry.

Reading is also another activity that takes up my time. In fact, once you start reading, time flies. Before you know it, it's time for fixing lunch or dinner. One of my recent reads was a book I picked off the recommended shelf in the library. The title was "The Younger Man" by Sarah Tucker. I've always enjoyed books by British author and this book was no exception, makes me laugh and cry at the same time.

The previous book I read was "The Last Pope" by Luis M. Rocha. This book is extremely difficult to follow, as it has many characters, switching from the past back to the present. The review on this book drew comparison to Dan Brown's books, but I beg to differ. Dan Brown is an exceptional story-teller, and it's hard to draw a parallel from "The Last Pope" to any of his books.

I'm now reading "The Library of Shadows" by Mikkel Birkegaard. He is a Danish writer and this book is a translated version. Interesting storyline. Apparently, this author took 6 years to finish writing this book.

I'm glad I can read, because if I was my grandma, lying on the bed the whole day with nothing to do, I'd be bored to tears. Reading keeps my spirits alive, gives me something to talk about, and also to occupy my bored hours. I thank God for all the books in the world.

Occupational Hazard

2009-10-15T12:43:00.004+08:00

I'm alone at home *again*, with a mask on while typing this post. The a**h*** upstairs is smoking again. Brainless man.

During the initial years when I stopped working full-time, it was rather difficult for me to associate myself as being a housewife. After filling in the "Occupation" with a title for years, it was wierd putting my occupation as "Housewife". However, I've finally convinced myself I've become a full-fledged housewife when not only do I have to do housework when I'm awake, I even dream of doing housework while sleeping! What a tired dream that was!

My chores are very basic. Do laundry, iron clothes, sweep dust off tabletops. My house is often in a mess as I have very messy kids. If someone drops something on the floor, no one will pick it up until I "roar" at them or when I start to sweep the floor. Often you can see a paper aeroplane, pyjamas, story books, a missing part from a toy lying on the floor.

Once in a blue moon, the "tidy-up-room" bug will bite me and I'll tidy their ever-so-messy studyroom. I'll then question myself why did I tidy it up in the first place when it becomes untidy in less than a day. So frustrating.

I've been feeling very tired lately. No, I haven't been slogging myself hard with housework. In fact, I haven't been baking quite a while, which is often my therapeutic remedy for boredom. I need some excitement in my life. The only thing I look forward to everyday is to break the 500K mark in Bejeweled Blitz. Pathetic, isn't it?

My Kids

2009-08-27T12:29:00.005+08:00

I guess from now on, I have to write about cheerful stuff, not gloomy, philosophical posts. Why? It's all because of my dear little princess. She was so upset after reading one of my post, she almost exhibited signs of depression.

Being her mother, I'm particularly sensitive to her mental and emotional well-being. She doesn't have to tell me anything, I just know whether she's happy or sad. At first, I didn't know she was upset because of my post, but I suspected it might be. Then after much probing, she finally blurted out the truth. After almost one week of sleepless nights, tears and loss of appetite, she was on the road to being her cheerful self again. It had not been easy. She needed lots of assurance and kind words from her dearest mummy.

Thanks to the almighty up there, I have my Van back. Van is a good, caring, thoughtful girl. I'm glad God gave her to me. I want nothing more than for my kids to be happy. In fact, I thank the Lord for all my kids, without which life will be such a bore. Van shows me about sensitivity. Gab shows me about wisdom. Ivan, well, he is such a clown I suppose he shows me about taking life easy. I guess Ivan's only worry is whether he'll get his bubble tea that was promised him yesterday.

Yesterday, Ivan asked if I can get a present for his friend's 6th birthday.

Me: Boy or girl?
Ivan: Girl, my good friend (Si Lin).
Me: Wah, you have good girl friend ah?
Ivan: Can I get present please?
Me: If you want to get present for your friend, you have to buy it out of your own pocket money.
Ivan: Then can I have pocket money now?
Me: ??!?!!?!

Kwala

2009-08-26T09:57:00.007+08:00

Can you imagine a boy who treats his koala keychain like a pet? I have one at home. As you can see from the photo, Gab is playing on the computer while his *ahem* koala keychain which he aptly named "Kwala" watches him. (btw, he didn't know that I took this photo as he was concentrating hard on his game)

The story goes like this. While we were in Movie World Australia, this boy found a Bugs Bunny soft toy which he likes. "What? A boy playing with a bunny?! No way!" yours sincerely cried out. From then on, he complains about why can't he get a soft toy... until the day we got to the Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary. I told him he can get something useful, and before I can say Go, he disappeared in search for something.

After a while, he came back excitedly and showed me this koala keychain. I thought to myself, ok, he can hang it on his bag or anywhere he wishes. The rest, as people say, is history.

This is not the end of the story. A few weeks ago, this same little boy got a shoebox and built Kwala a home, complete with sofa and bed. His jiejie chipped in and built it a light. How did she do it, you might ask. Well, I got Gab a yoyo that gives off a light while yoyo-ing, and he, in his great enthusiam, played it so hard it fell to the ground and broke into pieces. Hence, end of life for yoyo. Van came up with an ingenious idea, fixed a string to the light of the yoyo that acts as a switch for the yoyo so that they can turn the light on for Kwala's house. Here's a photo of the house. While I'm taking this shot, I also noticed it's home to many other toys too. Notice also the windows and drawings on the wall. So cute right?

SuaGu Me

2009-08-24T23:49:00.004+08:00

I have heard of Flickr for ages but didn't get around to testing it out. Quite scared of testing things actually..

Last week I baked a raison loaf and I did an egg sandwich and crunchy fish sandwich for Gab's lunch. Did some touch-up on the photo and there! Enjoy!

Confessions of a Daiso-holic

2009-08-21T15:55:00.004+08:00

Gosh, I'm going to be so much poorer because Daiso at the mall has finally opened! There's no need to travel all the way to PS to get my stuff from Daiso anymore. Yay!

I can spend hours just walking from shelf to shelf. There's just so much things to look at and discover. All I have to do is to restrain myself from popping everything I see into the shopping basket.

If you can't find me at home, just cross the street to Daiso, you might find me there. Daiso 万岁!

Walking Encyclopedia

2009-08-19T08:53:00.004+08:00

I'm here talking about Gab again. Can't help it. He amazes me.

Yesterday we were watching the end of the SSC 09 and there was this trailer of what's to come next week. The question asked was, "What is the largest satellite of Saturn". Gab answered without hesitation, "I know! It's Titan and it has an atmosphere." I was like, "???!?!?!?! WOW!" It's a Secondary Science challenge you know, and he's only 8!! I did a search on the internet, yes, Saturn's largest moon IS indeed Titan and it HAS an atmosphere!

Ask him about space information and he'll be glad to share his wealth of knowledge with you. He can line up the planets, in order, from the Sun to the last planet (whatever the last planet is, I have no clue). If he stores this information in his brain and continues reading up, I can foresee him taking part in the SSC in 10 years.

He is definitely a Science guy, not a Language one. Van is good in her languages. Ivan, well, maybe he'll be a food critic. That boy loves food. Yesterday, after eating a piece of sausage bread I baked, he came to the kitchen and said, "Mummy, you bake the most delicious bread, thank you!" and he gave me a big hug. He sure knows how to make me smile.

Silver Badge

2009-08-08T15:15:00.000+08:00

Gab's school holds its Sports Day during their National Day celebration. He was the reserve runner last year, so he didn't get to take part. This year, everyone in class gets to participate, and they had this thing called Intra-Class games.

Gab was complaining the night before the Sports Day about the difficulty in the game he was to be taking part in. It was supposed to be a bowling game. Pins were replaced by mineral bottles filled with water and according to him, the bottles were placed quite far apart.

As always, there's this competitive streak in Gab and whenever he doesn't do as well he thinks he's supposed to, he'll get all worked up. Wanting to give him some encouragement, I told him to just enjoy the game and do his best.

When he came home from school yesterday, he gave me a foolish grin and fished out a medal from his pocket. "I've got a medal!" So proud was he that you would be mistaken it was an Olympic medal.

It was a silver medal. He later told me almost everyone in his schoolbus had a medal. Cute. He told me something even more hilarious. He's friend won a gold medal which he subsequently lost and this poor boy had to bring home just the strap holding the medal.

Gab wore his medal around his neck the whole of yesterday.8-)

Rag & Flag

2009-08-04T12:12:00.001+08:00

When I was walking back from the mall this morning, a guy in a yellow NUSSU shirt approached me with a donation can. Rag & Flag Day. How time flies! I was doing the same 20 years back!

It was tiring but fun. It's all but memories now. Hope the kids get to enjoy their days at university too! Talking about universities, I don't know how is Ivan even going to go through his Primary 1 next year.

Ivan: I had spelling today!
Me: Oh, and how was it? You didn't learn, so how, any mistakes?
Looking at me sheepishly..
Me: All wrong?
Ivan: Yes..
Me: What? You had ZERO for your spelling?
As usual, the blame always get shifted to his poor old mummy..
Ivan: You didn't teach me what!
Me: And did you even tell me you had spelling on a MONDAY when your spelling is on WEDNESDAY?!!

There's only one word to describe this boy - LAZY. It's good to be happy-go-lucky, but it doesn't work in Singapore's education system. I wonder how he's going to survive when he starts P1.

Grateful

2009-07-27T10:29:00.003+08:00

After a week of frenzy and sleepless nights, I can finally slow down my pace and have a good rest.

It is not easy for a parent when their child falls sick, and it is even worse so when all 3 of them fall sick one after another. With fever reaching a high of 40.4, with no hint of it subsiding despite strong doses of fever medicine, it'll make any parent worried sick. Thank God for the powerful anti-viral drug given, otherwise I can't imagine what the outcome will be like.

I'm grateful to all, sisters, mother, mother-in-law for their concern during this trying period. Without their reassurance, well-wishes and delicious meals, I don't think I would have gone through it on my own. A special mention to Gab's doc, Dr Fong for taking time off from his busy schedule to call and make sure everything is alright, and also Carol for her thoughtfulness.

Now that the kids are well again, I will keep reminding myself to give thanks to the Lord for his wonderful graces.

Jay Chou

2009-07-03T09:30:00.004+08:00

I've always hold music composers in high regard. Being a music lover and trained in classical music makes it even more significant.

There are millions, if not billions of pieces of music out in the world. If a unique piece of music is composed, and manage to touch me, I call that person a genius. I first found it in JJLin. He's been my favourite for a few years now, until lately. While watching 星光大道 (SCV ch56), I've heard a few of Jay Chou's compositions and have not looked back since.

That fella's an absolute GENIUS. All his songs were composed by him. I've been listening to his songs in youtube and I've found many gems.

Wish I can bring him home.

Fear Factor

2009-07-03T09:08:00.002+08:00

Lately, I've been tracking down those elusive ants. They seemed to know they are being hunted. It started a month ago, when I noticed a trail of ants from the kitchen window leading to my rubber gloves that was dangling over the towel rack. "AHHHHHHHHHH! ANTS!!! AIYO!!!!" Start of nightmare.

It's been almost 4 years since we moved to this place. I was glad I managed to keep it ant-free, until now.. argh! I managed to kill those coming in from the kitchen window, but after some time, those buggers began appearing in the toilet. Out came the insecticide. "SPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRAAAYYY!!!

Ever since then, an occasional ant or 2 or 3 will appear from nowhere. It's a common sight to find me sitting on the floor, staring at nothing for the elusive ant to appear.

It's a losing battle. They have the upperhand. With my aging eyesight and their "magical" disappearing skills, it's only a matter of time they call our home their home as well.

Any tips to get rid of them once and for all? (when I don't even know where they are coming from in the first place?!)

Gracious living

2009-05-08T12:28:00.008+08:00

I'm not boasting, but if the world was as considerate as me, I'm sure we'll have peace (AND quiet) everywhere. There's no need to put up with people who do unthinkable stuff like:

Switching their Karoke music to LOUD and 'entertaining' the whole neighbourhood with their Hokkien songs.
Uncontrollable kids stampeding and dragging furniture all over the house.
Hanging dripping laundry out to dry and wetting everybody else's almost-dry laundry in the process.
Conveniently throwing litter on the ground. I once came across a trail of otak banana leaf as this idiotic person threw the leaves on the ground after finishing every otak. You can almost figure out how many otak that idiot had eaten from following that trail, but I had better things to do.
Lighting cigarettes in the lift. Why can't they wait until they get off the lift to start their puffing? Why do they have to endanger our lives?
My house is surrounded by smokers. I can't even open my front door to have natural wind because the smell of cigarette smoke will come into the house in no time. Sometimes, I even have to close all the windows at home because the stupid person upstairs will smoke and the smell will come into our house.

Why are these people like that? All I can say is they are plain selfish, with no consideration for others. There is no hope that things will get better. I just have to tolerate but for how long, I do not know. However, there's one thing I know. If I were to be diagnosed with lung or nose cancer and die from it, I'll surely come back as a ghost to haunt the neighbours staying around me.

Grandma

2009-01-16T12:29:00.004+08:00

For the past few months, ahma has been confined to bed, probably due to a minor stroke she suffered (again) recently. Needless to say, these past few months had been hell not only for ahma herself, but for her caretakers.

With everyone on a short fuse, compounded by a drastic change in ahma's behavior, harsh words, heated exchanges were inevitable. As I look at ahma lying helplessly on her bed, groaning in pain, I cannot help but feel sad, really sad.

A few weeks back, as Ken was keeping ahma company, she told him that she feels so defenseless now. Illness had ravaged her body, and yet she's still alive at the grand old age of 90+. She's wondering when God will take her away, hoping it'll be sooner rather than later, taking all troubles away.

Family members have discussed the option of putting her in a home due to her erratic behavior (kicking, shouting, smacking Erna, the domestic helper in the middle of the night. Thank God Erna is a very patient and understanding girl instead of some psychotic maid otherwise ahma will be murdered long ago). Van overheard us talking about this last week. She started with a few tears and it graduated into a full-blown sob. "I DON'T WANT AHZOR TO BE PUT INTO A HOME!" sob sob.

Van has a heart for ahma. She's probably the only great-grandchild who regularly sits by ahzor's bed, with ahzor holding her hand. Though Van has no clue what ahzor is uttering (ahzor speaks in Hokkien), she just nods her head and smiles everytime ahzor tells her something. I'm sure this small gesture on Van's part brings comfort and relief to ahma that at least someone still can afford the time to sit by her.

Ahma has an appointment at TTSH this coming Wednesday. Hopefully the specialist will prescribe some medication to alleviate not only her physical pain but also the mental distress she suffering.

Dear God, I pray that when it's my time to be old and sick, these scenes will not be re-enacted. If in the unfortunate event that this should happen to me, just give me the strength to ride through it all until it's time for me to be safe in your arms again. Amen.

Professor Gab

2009-01-09T12:17:00.004+08:00

Gab is a boy who loves to connect everyday things with facts he knows in his brain that is in constant overdrive mode. This morning when we were walking to the market, I held his hands. After a while, it became sweaty.

Me : Your hands are getting sweaty. (I was expecting his reply to be maybe : Oh, I'm very warm) Instead,
Gab : Yes. Our hands and feet are the sweatiest part of our
body, not our head.
A while later..
Gab : Mummy, how big is a bee's sting?
Me : I don't know.
Gab: How big is a bee's sting, mummy?
Me : I DON't know.. I wasn't stung by a bee
before.
Gab: I know mummy.. when it's a small bee, the sting will be
small. Maybe when it's a big bee, the sting might be small also.
Gab again: Will the bee's sting through our
clothes?
Me: Our clothes are rather thin, so it should sting
through.
Gab: So if we wear jumpsuit it'll not get us!
Me: Do you know when the bees sting, it'll die after
that?
Gab: Yes! I know! The bees sting and then risk their lives and
commit suicide.

Gab.. just don't know what to say about him. He's very cute when he doesn't irritate me, but unfortunately, when he gangs up with Ivan, he becomes Monster Gab.

Very often, the questions he asks I simply cannot answer. He has an excellent memory, remembering all facts that he had come across.. the order of planets, facts about the universe, facts about our body etc etc. I was wondering, maybe I need to tap on this talent of his, let him work this ability to his full potential. Perhaps I even have a child prodigy in the making!

My life as it is now

2009-01-07T09:00:00.008+08:00

Being a housewife is an extremely monotonous job. Don't get me wrong, no, I'm not complaining. In fact, as I watch people rushing to work everyday, I'm thankful that I have the privilege of staying at home, especially on cold rainy days when I can snuggle with the many cushions on the couch and have a good nap.

When I listen to K complain about HR, or work in general, I'm so thankful I'm not in his shoes. It's been 6 years since I stopped working (in the office of course, but now my job is 24/7!), I'm glad I'm now my own boss.

There are not many interesting things for a stay-at-home mum to do. Cook, iron clothes, tidy playroom that is perpetually messy (wonder why I even bother to tidy it in the first place), clean floor, nag, nag, nag and nag. It's rare moments like this that I can sit down at the computer, without any eyes staring over my shoulders, breathing down my neck and reading out loud every word I type.

You might think that I'm crazy but I enjoy sitting in front of the washing machine as it is turning the laundry round and round. It's has a calming, therapeutic effect on me. Just now as I was watching it spinning, I saw Ivan's sock stuck at the gap between the door and the side of the machine. As the rest of the laundry turns, it moved the sock out a little and everytime it moved a little a bit more, I was cheering for it to come out. When it finally joined the rest of the wash, I clapped. Don't worry about the state of my mind. I'm perfectly sane. In fact, it's these little things that keep my sanity intact.

On rare occasions when I can be alone or even to have a day out with K, I'll be the happiest woman on earth. I just celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary a month ago and it had been one of the more memorable day of my life. We left the kids at mum's and K booked an appointment at the spa to have a full back massage. The massage itself was not worth mentioning, in fact, after that massage, I vowed never to step into any spas for massage, ever. After that, we proceeded to Vivocity to shop and to have dinner. I had my favourite food - white pepper crab. Yummy..

After dinner, K fished out something from his wallet. I said, "Diamond ring is it?!" HAHA. No la, he'll never get me any of these things. It was our Islander card to Sentosa. He had actually planned for us to go to Sentosa after dinner and spend time sitting at the beach. We chose Siloso beach, just beside the "Songs of the Sea" place. It was a full-moon night, so not only did we have a bright full moon over us, we also got to watch the mini fireworks at the end of the "Songs of the Sea" performance. I felt very blessed at that time, to be able to spend time alone with my beloved husband.

Though I might complain once in a while about being bored, I have never forgotten to thank God for the many other graces he has bestowed on me. He has given me 3 beautiful, healthy, albeit naughty kids, a wonderful caring husband, a comfortable home and most important of all, a close-knit family.

Bye 2008. Hello 2009

2008-12-31T22:10:00.014+08:00

It's almost the end of 2008. It had been a year full of mishaps for me. However, on hindsight, I've learnt much from these unfortunate happenings.

Let's have a recap. The start of 2008 was rather uneventful. Gab started P1 and I didn't even follow him to school on his first day. He managed well and even came up top in class.

Then came Chinese New Year. It was the loneliest CNY of my entire life because I had to be hospitalised at TTSH due to strepp pneumonia. I spent the first night of CNY there alone, fearful to fall asleep though I was dead tired, because I kept hearing voices the moment I closed my eyes. Thankfully, bro-in-law K told me to tell "whoever" that's making the noises to leave me alone and it worked! I spent the next 11 nights in the same room and nothing came to bother me. During this period, I've experienced the care and love my immediate family had given me. Everyone took turns to look after my 3 little monsters. I was deeply touched.

A few months later in May, while slicing the bread I've just baked, I clumsily sliced up my finger as well. After putting pressure on it for more than 1/2 hr, the blood still flowed. I went to my fave doc, Dr Fong, and after looking at the state of my injury, decided I needed at least a stitch to stop the flow. In the end, I had 2 stitches.

One month later, as we were planning to go for our holiday to ClubMed Bintan, I discovered I was late, though Ken always calculated the safe days for me. I bought the pregnancy test kit, and with trembling hands, pee-ed on it and after a min, discovered, albeit with mixed feelings, I was pregnant, again. Though we should be "experts" after having 3 kids, I was really not prepared this time round. On the 3rd day after I discovered I'm having no.4, I started to bleed after our trip from the zoo. It started with brown stains and gradually proceeded to be bright red bloody discharge. Ken googled the internet and told me not to worry. I was not convinced and at the back of my mind, I knew. Perhaps it's a mother's instinct. Before we left for our trip, I visited the gynae and after an ultrasound, he confirmed my fears. I had and now it's gone. It all happened so fast I barely had time to grief.

In June, while getting off the toilet bowl, Ivan fell and dislocated his left elbow. He had to spend the next month in a cast and while he was still in a cast, clumsy me, while fetching him to school, toppled over the bike and both Ivan and I fell to the ground. Thankfully nothing to him but I scraped my knee badly and had to cycle home with blood flowing down my leg.

Just when I thought nothing worst could happen to me, I had to drop a 100plus isotonic can drink on my foot. The impact caused my entire 2nd toe nail to come off. For more detailed description, http://elastiwoman.blogspot.com/2008/09/disaster-after-disaster.html

Thank God no disaster had befallen me since. On Christmas Day, I baked the prettiest cake of my life. Choc Mousse. Yes, it tasted as good as it looks.

I pray to God 2009 will not be as unfortunate as 2008. Here's wishing all the best of health, both mentally and physically.

There'll be a mini fireworks at the open field next door. I'm off to watch it. BYE!

Amazing brain

2008-10-03T12:45:00.004+08:00

I've just finished reading a book a borrowed from the library, "Born on a Blue Day" by Daniel Tammet. It's an autobiography on Daniel, who is autistic, and has savant syndrome, very much like the Dustin Hoffman character in the movie "Rain Man".

He is a maths savant, and sees numbers as shapes, colours and textures and because of this ability to see numbers thus, he memorised and recited more than 22,500+ digits of pi! This effort took him more than 5 hrs to achieve.

Reading this book made me want to know more about savants. In fact, the inspiration behind "Rain Man" was another savant, Kim Peek. This fellow is even more amazing. He can actually read 2 pages of a book simultaneously and able to retain the information he read.

I got onto youtube and did a search and I was treated to a string of unbelievable achievements by artistic and musical savants. In fact, most of these savants are autistic. You have to check these guys out.
Stephen Wiltshire - He can reproduce the landscape of whatever scene he had visited on paper.
Derek Paravicini - He is blind, has severe learning disability, but he has absolute pitch and can play back any piece of music that has been played to him.

I am deeply humbled by these people. Which brings me to think, perhaps there's a talent in all of us just waiting to be discovered... ?

Clear skies ahead

2008-09-11T08:12:00.004+08:00

After 3 sleepless nights, I finally had a good night's sleep! Yeah!

On my way to the doc's yesterday morning, I met him at the traffic junction and he inquired about my toe. Talked to him a bit before the lights changed and he made his way to his clinic first while I limped slowly along.

While at his clinic, he redid my dressing, looked at my wound and said, "You have a nice wound." I thought to myself, "How can a wound be NICE?!???" As though he heard my thoughts, he corrected himself saying, "A nice wound means it's healing nicely with no infections, and the tissue is healthy."

I didn't feel the difference until I reached home. After lying on the sofa a bit, I didn't feel the stabbing pain that I had days before. I was so glad I sang praises to God. I figured to myself the pain that I had for the past few days was due to the tightly bound dressing.

During this stressful period, I have to thank my dear husband for being there when I needed him. On nights when I couldn't sleep due to the pain, he stayed up with me, massaging my leg, or just hugging me to comfort me. He even stayed home these past few days to help out. Thank you dear laogong!

On a lighter note, Ivan made me a happy mum yesterday. I was on the sofa looking at Ken playing Bejewelled when Ivan jumped onto my back and clung on. I said, "Why do you have to cling onto me like that?" My sweet baby replied, "It's because I love you mummy". So sweet, my dear boy..

Disaster after disaster

2008-09-08T16:31:00.004+08:00

I'm finally convinced the year 2008 is definitely not my year.

I had a canned drink dropped on my foot on Sunday night, and it landed smack on my 2nd toe, causing the toe nail to come off. I didn't realise the extent of damage I'd done until I looked down and saw my bloody toe. Terrified by the sight of so much blood, I limped at top speed to the kitchen to get my bandage.

As I was bandaging my toe, the blood kept flowing from the wound, making me bandage even tighter to stop the flow. I almost used up the whole bandage and was left with a big fat bandaged toe. Unfortunately, it was not the end.

As the night wore on, my foot got more and more painful. I went to bed and after tossing about for 2 hours, finally got up, took my pillow and limped all the way to the living room to watch tv hoping I'll fall asleep. However, the pain was so unbearable and there was no way I could fall asleep. I finally decided to wake Ken up after an hour to ask him to give me some painkillers. I felt so bad waking him up but I was almost going berserk from the pain. Anyway, the painkillers didn't help one bit. I managed to catch about an hour of sleep before my alarm rang to prepare breakfast for Van.

When I saw doc in the morning, he said that the injury was rather serious and I was still bleeding from the wound. He pulled out the damaged toenail, stitch up the wound and bandaged it up. I was pain-free for about an hour after that due to the anesthetic jab doc gave me. After the medication wore off, I was back to limping and groaning.

Last night was the worst night of my life (other than the time I had my first labour pain 9 years ago). The pain from my foot felt like I had my toe cut open from a very sharp knife. It was so tormenting until I could take it no more, I broke down and cried. I think I woke Ken with my cries and he hugged me and comforted me.

After tossing about for several hours, I finally found a position that enabled the pain in my foot to subside and I was able to catch a couple of hours' sleep.

I pray to God my toe will heal soon.. As you can recall from the beginning of my post I mentioned 2008 is not my year, I'll update my blog soon for more of my misadventures. God bless..

Fire! Fire!

2008-08-29T12:15:00.003+08:00

I can't believe more than a year has passed since my last post. Well, many things (both good and bad) had happened since.

Today's the last day of the school's 3rd Term, and before you know it, it'll be time for the year-end exams again. I'm glad to say both Van & Gab are doing well in school so far. Gab is one of the top students in class, and although Van is not one of the top, she's been scoring consistently well in her tests.

Yesterday I witnessed a very disturbing scene. As I was walking to mum's house, I saw students standing by the road and looking upwards and saying "Fire!". I looked in the direction of where they're pointing and to my horror, I saw thick black smoke billowing out from the balcony of the top floor of the block where mum lives in.

Mum was not aware of the fire and when I told her about it, we all stood by the corridor and witnessed the most cruel scene as the raging fire engulfed the entire flat. It was just thick black smoke at first, but as the fire rages on, we saw huge flames licking out of the opened windows. I pity the neighbouring flats as the black smoke permeated their houses through their opened windows. Soon, the fire truck arrived and within half an hour, the fire was put out.

Life was back to normal for us "kaypohs" but my heart goes out to the occupants of that flat. Poor things, left with nothing, but only the clothes on their backs. As I say this, I also thanked the Lord for keeping our homes safe. Absent-minded me always worry when I'm out whether or not I had remembered to switch off the iron. Thank God I always did.

Blessed

2007-07-27T09:12:00.000+08:00

It's been 3 days since I went for balloting at Gab's school. We are truly blessed. We have slightly less than 50percent chance to secure a place at his primary school HIPS, but we got it. So many people helped to pray for us and God answered each and everyone of our prayers.

When we went for his registration, many of the staff there told us not to worry, looking from past history, there should be no balloting in this Phase2B. I was not convinced though, observing the crowd gathered at the registration room. Then I told Ken, there's always a first time, and how right was I!

The week leading to the balloting was a nerve wrecking week. My wish was that all my kids should be educated at a mission school, because I had great experiences being educated in such schools myself. However, with the thought of not securing a place at HIPS, I was at my wits' end. I prayed to God asking him what should I do?

While I was adamant in not buckling from my initial stance of being educated in a mission school, I slowly came to the point where I actually gave the option of registering at a neighbourhood school just a few steps away from my place. Convenience is the root word here and most important of all, this particular school is probably one of the best in my area. This somewhat eased the battle that's going on between my head and my heart.

God is great, and he works great things. I thank HIM and all those who interceded for us for this great gift. The thing left now is for Gab to study hard and do us proud! AMEN!

No shells

2007-04-11T08:16:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered what happens to a snail when its home is crushed?

On the way to Van's school, there's a stretch of road where there'll be an abundant of snails, especially after a raining spell. I'll try my best not to crush these snails, but many cyclists were not so careful though. Here you can also find snails that were crushed beyond recognition. I've often asked myself, "What will a snail look like without its shell?"

I managed to capture a shot of a "homeless" snail on my way home. Here's the photo. I don't know if it's still alive, but it definitely will not live long as it is in an extremely vulnerable state both from the birds and the sun. Poor things...

I have always known snails to have big fat shell, but I found some very "sea-shell-looking" snails along the way, and it's very small also. Cute or not? 8-)

Thank you God for everything!

Kiddy Palace

2007-04-04T09:19:00.000+08:00

It's heart-warming to know that there are friends out there who remember my birthday year after year. Come to think of it, I've known these friends for almost 10 years and boy, am I glad they still remember me!

Van woke up early yesterday morning and greeted me with a "Happy Birthday Mummy!". Thereafter, she reminded all who woke after her to wish me. When Gab woke up, Van said, "You didn't say something to mummy." Gab, who is still a little blur, said to me, "Har? Good morning mummy." Then Van hissed at his bro, "No! Not that! Say Happy Birthday to mummy!"

Van is very interesting. A few days before, she asked me for money. I asked her for what? She replied that she needed to get me a present! Ok, so I gave her some money for MY present and when she came back from school, she asked me again. "Mummy, can you give me wrapping paper to wrap your present?" Then all of them hid in the room to wrap up my present.

I later found out what Van is going to give me when Gab popped this question to me. "Mummy, do you have a diary?" Kids, they just can't keep secrets.

Here's something to share about my silly kids.
The other day, Ken was teaching Ivan some manners when he snatched something from his sister. Ken told Ivan, "Do you know if you want something from someone, you need to say the magic word, and not snatch? So, what must you say to jiejie?" Ivan replied, "Abracadabra, is the magic word!"

Farewell

2007-03-22T08:59:00.001+08:00

Rest in peace, Father Lu. We will miss you.

Hi & Goodbye

2007-03-21T08:28:00.000+08:00

There's been a sad piece of news recently. An old priest is lying in hospital, dying of organ failure.
Mum has been going to the hospital daily with the rest of the church members to stay by his bedside to pray for him. It's been a few days now since doc last said he couldn't make it anymore, so more people came to pay their last respects. Miraculously, after a bout of purging blood, doc said last evening that Father L's heart is still beating strong, so he's still hanging on, hence mum came home earlier from the hospital yesterday.

I did not witness it myself, but Mum has been describing how emotional Dad was since learning of Father L's illness. Father L had been admitted to hospital for quite a while now but Dad & Mum had not been to visit him. It was only when his illness took a turn for the worse that they had gone to see him. Mum described that when Father L heard Mum's voice, Father L grabbed mum's hands and broke into tears, prompting all in the room, including Dad to cry together with him. It must have been a heart wrenching sight, coz even when Mum related it to me, my eyes went all teary. Mum later said Father L must have been thinking, "Silly woman, what took you so long to come and visit me?!"

Father L was already an assistant parish priest in Nat Church when we moved to HG. It has been more that 20 years since we moved to HG so mum & dad had known him for that many no. of years. He's a well-respected man. He came from China and has a very strong accent, so half the time I couldn't figure out what he's talking about. After a major reshuffle when the new Archbishop took over, Father L was posted to another church, but his heart is still in this church and though he no longer is around HG area, he still makes the trip regularly to mum's house to bring communion to grandma.

Last Sunday when a friend called to say Father L can't make it anymore, mum said dad burst into tears (in the midst of playing mahjong). So sad. But he's still hanging on.

For all of us who has that someone at the back of our minds but couldn't make the time for that special someone, perhaps it's time to do something about it before it's too late to say our "Hi", much less our "Goodbyes". I've always had a couple of special friends whom I try not to lose contact with, but these friends whom I consider "special" always have an excuse to say, "I'm busy, I can't find the time". Perhaps I'm not that special to them after all.

Thought for the day

2007-03-06T09:34:00.000+08:00

Almost every we read in the newspapers about the effects of global warming - freaky storms, extremely hot summer, melting artic ice. All sounds very scary if you think what might happen if it occurs in Singapore.

I have tried, in my conscious effect, to try to be environment friendly whenever I can. Going for grocery shopping means bringing along my green grocery bag and pushing the trolley. I might look very "auntie", but who cares, so long as I can do my part in saving the environment, why not?

Now that the CNY is over, some of us could be helping our children to sort out their angpows. Here's a tip. Those angpows that are still in good condition, keep it for next year, whilst we can keep the rest for the kids' CNY art & craft for next year.

Most of the notes collected will either be in $2 or $10 denomination, and the best thing is almost all the notes will be new and crisp. We don't have to bank in these lot of money for our kids. Keep these notes for our angpows next year (so we don't have to queue for new notes), and all we need is to do an inter-bank transfer to our kids' account. Very simple and environment friendly. No paper wasted, no time lost.

I guess if we all do our part, no matter how insignificant, we'll probably help Mother Earth in our own little ways.

K's bro's son is 2+ mths old now. A little small still, but quite cute. He's beginning to pay attention to things around him and I saw him smile for the first time on Sunday. His parents planned to put him in infant care, because no one is willing to look after him, but the centre would not accept babies that are less than 6mths old. It's a pity really, when a couple has problems looking for someone to take care of their child.

In fact, I actually had the intention of helping them to baby-sit their child, but after serious contemplation, K & I decided we should give up the idea, because I already have 3 little monkeys to look after, it's not convenient for me to look after another one, especially when I have to bring the boys home from school by public transport.

In the meantime, Baby B's maternal grandma will look after him on the weekdays whilst his mum goes back to work. I'm sure Baby B's mum will miss him like mad because he'll only be back home on Friday nights since his grandma lives in the West and his parents live in the East.

I thank God for having parents who live close to me and willingly sacrificed their time to help me with my kids. I also thank God for K, whose salary, though not much, is able to let us live comfortably, without me having to "slave" in the corporate world.

Thank you Lord, for everything. AMEN.

Crazy

2007-02-26T08:31:00.000+08:00

This morning, Gab said, "Mummy, Ivan pulled out all the papers from the toilet roll!" I went to the toilet, saw most of the toilet papers being unrolled and screamed, "IVAN! What were you trying to do?!?!!"

"I want to get the toilet roll from underneath."

Another incident happened that confirmed that I have a bunch of mad children.

This is Van's boots from last year.

This is Van's boots she got for this year's CNY, and she has been wearing it since the 1st day of CNY. However, she decided to put on her old pair of boots yesterday. Gab did not notice her wearing it until late in the evening. He ran and asked her sis, "Jiejie! Did the fur drop off from your boots?"

Ivan's present

2007-02-08T20:39:00.000+08:00

Think this is just an ordinary piece of pencil? It's not if you read on.

Today, Van came home from school all excited. She whispered in my ears, "Mummy, I've got Ivan a birthday present!" And she pulled this pencil out from her school bag.

She must have spent quite a long time looking for a present because when I asked her if she finished her food during recess, she said she didn't have enough time.

Well, Ivan, hope you like the present Jiejie got for you! Happy Birthday!

Chwee Kueh

2007-02-01T10:02:00.000+08:00

After months of testing, standing over the stove, mixing flours, I finally succeeded in making authentic Chwee Kueh! Ivan's not around to try it yet as he's in school. I'm sure he'll love it because he loved my other "not-so-perfect" Chwee Kuehs.

So far, I think I've used up about 3 kg of rice flour for my "experiment". I followed the recipe from the cookbook that I bought, it didn't tell me how many portions it'll make and I ended up with a bunch of gooey paste which I subsequently threw away. Further tests gave me better success, but somehow, the texture of the kueh just didn't seem right.

I then scoured the internet for more recipes. There are many versions, and most ended up edible, but it still has that springy texture which I want to get rid of.

Yesterday, I found a recipe that uses corn flour (tai bai fen). The rest of the time, I had used ci fen or sheng fen, and these fen is really not suitable to make Chwee Kueh.

In my family, we call it Bou Zai Kou, and I'm now proud to present to you the recipe to make your own. Don't have to go Bedok or Tiong Bahru to get it. If you want, I'll cook it for you! Heehee.

Ingredients (makes 20)
For the Kueh: 180g rice flour, 1 heaped tbsp corn flour, 800ml water (I guess if you want it to be a little softer, you can add 50-100ml more water). 2 tbsp oil, a little salt (you can don't add it in. I didn't and it tasted just as good)

For the topping: one packet of cai poh, 3 tbsp oil (if you want it to be more oily, by all means add in more oil), garlic, small onion, sesame seed

Method

Mix 200 ml of water together with the 2 kinds of flours. Mix them well into a smooth milky mixture.
Meanwhile, add the salt (if you want) and the oil into the remaining water and let it boil
Once water starts to boil, slowly stir in the flour mixture and turn down the fire. When it begins to turn gooey, turn off the fire.
It's ready when the mixture becomes a paste
Scoop the mixture into the Chwee Kueh moulds and steam it for around 15 minutes

(I wonder why some recipes said to pour the mixture into the moulds. By the time it's ready, the mixture is all stuck together, and there's no way we can pour it out!)

Meanwhile, while waiting for the Chwee Kueh to be ready, you can cook your cai poh topping. If you find the portion to be too much, you can always set aside whatever you don't need and keep in the freezer, and you don't have to cook it the next time round! Here's the method:

Soak cai poh in water. If you want it slightly more salty, soak it one time and drain the water. Otherwise, you can soak it a second time after discarding the water the first time.
Place cai poh in blender and blend it until fine
Chop garlic and onion finely. (You can place it in blender too)
Heat up wok. Add in oil. Wait for oil to get hot and then add in garlic and onion. Fry until it starts to brown and emits a stomach-growling-inducing-smell.
Finally put in the cai poh (be careful though, because this is the time the oil starts to splatter everywhere) and sesame seeds
Fry for about 10 minutes or so and it's done.

(many recipes call for adding sugar into the cai poh mixture, but I omitted it as I think we can do without the sugar. Furthermore, diabetics can eat it to their hearts content, and my dad, who's a diabetic, can also sample it!)

Assessment Time

2007-01-31T09:45:00.000+08:00

There was a Meet-The-Parent session at Van's school on Sat. They served us breakfast, some miserable sandwiches and equally miserable slice of cake. The principal introduced to the parents the new Parent Support Group (PSG) committee. There was even an grandmother volunteer! They were asking parents to volunteer at the school. How can? I've already had no time for myself and the kids, how can I find the time to volunteer at school?

Anyway, after the introduction, we were ushered to the girls' respective classrooms to meet their form teacher. Van had the same teacher when she was in P1. So there was some familiarity. It was during her speech to us parents that we found out that Van is actually in the top P2 class! I was glowing with pride then. Wow.

At the start of Van's P1, I had little expectation from her. Ken asked me if Van will be one of the top girls in her class, I told him it'll be good if she can just pass her exams. Van didn't have mid-term exams, so there was no pressure there. It was almost during the year-end exams that I found out that Van is extremely careless in her work, especially for Maths. So I frantically searched for good assessment books and took out all her assessment papers from school and started to drill her myself. I'm proud to say that I managed to do a good job now that she is in the top class.

However, pride goes before a fall. So I'm not going to rest on my laurels. Furthermore, the syllabus is going to get tougher. I'll make sure Van maintains her standard and not start getting lazy again. So wish me (and Van) good luck!

Own time own target

2007-01-12T08:56:00.000+08:00

When I was little, I was an obedient child. Everything my parents said I obeyed without questioning their authority. This was so partly because my sisters and I had great fear of our "cane-wielding" mum. One roar from her and we'll be scampering like little mice. Now that I'm a parent myself, I have often tried to imitate my mum's "roar". It doesn't quite have the same effect.

I remember vividly when I was probably 8 or 9, when I was caned by my mum, it left a deep cane mark on my thigh. I was so afraid others might see it, when it was time for PE, I had my shorts pulled so low to cover the cane mark that I almost exposed my bum.

My kids, they are such angels at times and just as often enough, they behave like little devils. I've learnt to take things as they are and not to be too "involved" in getting agitated. It's really pointless. They fight over the silliest things. There's this toy that is lying on the shelf for God knows how long and nobody touches it. BUT when someone decides to play with that toy, everyone starts to be interested in it and all hell will break loose if they don't get that toy in their hands. It happens so often I'm immune to it now. I'll just let them fight it out and most of the time, they will end up bruised and wounded from their fight over the toys, whilst I'll just tell them, "See? Fight fight fight, whole day fight. Silly goose."

The new school term has begun for a few weeks now. I've settled into the routine of bringing Van to school in the morning and rushing home to get the boys ready for school. Ivan has started Nursery and he's behaving well. There are no tears (not yet), no tantrums and in fact, he's enjoying school. Ken and I were allowed in his class for his first week of school and we were very impressed that he is very sporting and joins in all activities that the teachers had for him.

This little boy likes to catch us unawares. There was this night when Van was saying her prayers before sleeping. She was reciting the Lord's Prayer, "Our Father in Heaven, holy be your name...." Then all of a sudden Ivan said out, "OUR FATHER in heaven? Who says our father is in heaven? Papa is not in heaven!"

I love my mornings now that I'm all alone at home. My mum is still nagging for me to find a job. I saw an advert in the newspapers yesterday about a 4 year course at NIE to teach secondary Home Econs. I'm rather interested in it, but there'll be a 5 year bond. In 4 years' time, Ivan will be in Pri school and Van will be in having her PSLE. Do I have the time to manage all these? In 4 years' time, I'll be 41. Do I still have the energy to take exams and look after my kids at the same time? I really don't know.

Reflections

2006-12-20T11:07:00.000+08:00

It's been a month since my last post, and I've yet to see my lovely sunrise ... yet..

We've gone on a holiday to Club Med Cherating a week ago and I even tried to catch the sunrise on my first day there. The G.O who brought us around for an orientation tour showed us the best spot to catch sunrise as he claimed that for the past 4 days, he could see the sun rising out from the horizon.

I woke up early, although I wished to snuggle in the warmth of the comfortable blankets. I put on my sweater, and sneaked out of the hotel room without waking anyone up. I waited by the beach, and waited, and waited. As day broke, I saw a glimpse of sunshine. However, the so-called glorious dawn was marred by a whole bunch of monsoon clouds hovering in the horizon. What I missed in sight was compensated by an hour of therapeutic peacefulness. You see, ever since the year-end holiday begun, I've been bombarded by a lot of noises from my 3 little monkeys. One hour of peace is very hard to come by. I never got to go back to the beach in the wee hours as the monsoon rain prevented me from doing so. In any case, we all had fun during our 4 days at Club Med.

The school holiday is going to end in less than 2 weeks. In a way, I'm looking forward to it as Ivan will be starting Nursery and I'll have at least a 3 hour of peace at home without anyone around.

As the school term starts, it means year 2006 is coming to an end. Many things have happened in the year. The kids have also grown up too, albeit still a little "rascal-ish" for my liking. However, I've learnt to let things go. A little prayer with them before I get them to bed works wonders.

Here's a little something I want to share. Recently, I talked to my kids about death. I asked them if they would still remember me after my death. Ivan said immediately, "Yes, I will pray to God." The subject of death is taboo to Van, so she cried out loud, "Mummy, I don't want you to die! Ivan, don't say mummy will die!" To which Ivan replied, "I will pray to God to ask him to bring mummy back!"

Before I end this post, to all who's reading, please say a prayer for my dad who'll be going for surgery in 2 days' time to fix his blocked arteries. Pray that it'll be successful and he won't need to go for a bypass. Thanks in advance for all your prayers. God bless.

Salted duck egg

2006-11-20T14:18:00.000+08:00

I have missed not one but two great opportunities to store the most wonderful sunrise on film. I didn't have to pay for a holiday in the hills or seaside to witness such a gorgeous sight. It happened while I was fetching Van to school in the morning.

If you have eaten salted duck's egg before, you would know what I'm talking about. The sun is like a giant salted duck egg yolk out in the horizon, and we could look directly at it without squinting our eyes or fear of hurting our eyes. The haze probably had a part in creating the beautiful sunrise.

I missed capturing it on film the first time because I didn't have my camera with me. The second time round, I had my camera with me, but Van was late for school, so we just admired it while I was paddling along.

For the past 2 weeks since, I have been trying to make up for these 2 lost opportunities, but to no avail. So sad. I have wanted to share this beautiful scene with all of you. When I do the next time, I'll definitely make sure all of you will be duly rewarded.

Keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed for the next sunrise!

News at 10

2006-10-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

It was 10 o'clock and Ivan said he wanted to watch tv. Ok, we thought, it's time for news anyway. We switched on the tv and when Ivan saw it was the news, he said, "I don't like to watch the news. I wish it was the last episode." 8-)

Start of Term 4

2006-09-11T09:12:00.000+08:00

Can you believe it? It's already been one year since we moved in. Time waits for no man. Even the one week school break flies by and before you know it, my kids are back at school again.

We had an amazing one week break, the start of which was most memorable. Everyone, including gonggong, mama, yima, yimajiong, samyi, samyijiong, cousins and the chua troop had a wonderful time at bintan under one roof. Too bad we can't have a longer stay. Hopefully we'll have another of such a trip soon!

Today is Occupation Dress-up Day at Van's school. She's reluctant to go to school this morning, and she looked so miserable when I dropped her off at school. She had borrowed yima's pharmacist's coat and also borrowed gonggong's stethoscope so that she can dress up as a doctor. Van didn't like the idea of dressing up, and frankly speaking, I don't like it either. However, the school curriculum calls for such activities throughout the year and it gives the kids a chance to speak out in front of the class. I must admit it is a good move and I see progress in Van's attitude in school. I was pleasantly surprised when I read in Van's progress report that she is more willing to take part in class discussions. It's a great improvement from once upon a time where her preschool teacher will complain that Van is too quiet in class.

I thank God that Ken has the capability to support the entire family with his income alone and thus given me the chance to stay home and look after the kids. Though it's not always rosy, I enjoy seeing them grow up and you can't help but feel proud when they are able to achieve milestones ahead of their peers.

Yesterday Ivan was looking for a piece of paper to do his drawing. As everyone was busy with their own things, no one paid him any attention. It was only a while later that we noticed where Ivan had done his "masterpiece". He could not find any paper, so he conveniently did his drawing on his own legs. You can find a star on his left leg, and he even had tic-tac-toe on his right knee!

Ken played with the kids "Who-can-answer-the-Maths-question-the-fastest" game and he posed a question. What is 1000 minus 1? Van got the answer right first and said "999". Then Ken asked, "So, how do you say that in full?" We were expecting nine-hundred and ninety-nine. In fact, Van said that, but we were very much tickled with amusement when Gab said, "999, it's the telephone number of the police!"

I guess it's what we call "Think out of the box!"

Night Safari

2006-08-27T10:41:00.000+08:00

I had a few hours of liberation (from nagging, that is) on Friday as I embarked on my first ever late night shopping. It's different when you shop alone and with your whole troop tagging along.

As I go into one shop after another, I realised my tastes for clothes haven't changed much during all these years. It's basically t-shirts and capris or denims. Fashion nowadays are much more complicated, and after a few hours of shopping, I came to the conclusion that I don't know how to shop for clothes anymore! Most of the time, I'll be looking at kids' clothes. There is this shop at Wisma, called Topshop and they have this section selling baby's clothes. They called it Mini Topshop, and so aptly called. The clothes are so tiny, it can fit my toy teddy bear at home. It's soooooooooo cute. They even have this tiny demin skirt for 0-3 months old, and also a very fashionable t-shirt for newborn. I tell you, if I had a kid that can fit into those, I'll surely get one.

This aside, I discovered some interesting things. The first incident was a real eye-opener. As I was going up the escalator at DG station, I saw a couple coming down from the opposite escalator. They appeared very intimate with each other. I strained my eyes to take a closer look at one of them. She's obviously a lady though she had short-cropped hair. The other lady was hugging this other lady and horror of all horrors, they locked their lips together and started having the most passionate kiss I had ever seen in an escalator ride. *Gulp*. I swallowed hard and thought to myself. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!?!!!! GROSS!

I chanced upon another of such couple at Taka. Both were clearly female, though one is dressed like a very hip guy. It was not so disgusting this time round. These two were holding hands and looked in love with each other. As they were going up the escalator, I followed behind them. Maybe because I was behind them, all one did was snuggling up the other's neck.

I think lesbian behaviour is very much alive in Singapore and it's getting very common. Must pray hard that my kids will end up with a partner of the opposite sex.

Give me a reason why

2006-08-23T10:02:00.000+08:00

My kids, especially Ivan (though is only 3+ yrs old), always have 1001 reasons for not doing something we asked them to do. What happened yesterday was no exception.

I was going to give him dinner, but he refused to eat. He insisted on putting his fave "food", Tomato ketchup, on the horfun that mama cooked, but I told him it wouldn't taste nice any more. Being the stubborn boy that he is, he kept complaining and refused the food.

Then gonggong went to him and told him how he used to be so fat and chubby, but now he is getting thinner. Our dear "master complainer" told gongong, " I don't want to be fat, later I fat until I burst how?"

I give up!

Shopaholic

2006-08-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone. I'm back. Back from where? Nowhere in particular. Have been doing the same old stuff, nagging, doing housework, nagging, crocheting, nagging, baking bread, nagging etc etc

Bought a book on baking bread a couple of months back and I've tried doing french loaf, sausage bread. What's the result? My little "guinea pigs" ate it, so it should be ok. 8-) But I'm far from being a good baker. The bread that I baked seems to lack something.. can't figure out what, but the funny thing is, my bread tastes better the longer I keep it.

Ken recently casually mentioned that his colleagues have been meeting to play badminton after work. Then I told him, if he wanted to join them, go ahead. He has been at it for the past few weeks now, until last week when he reached home past 10. I thought to myself, Hey! Not fair! How come he can go and chill out with friends and I have to stay at home to look after the kids?!

In fact, I haven't been out with my friends for a long long time now. So long I can't even remember when was my last time out with friends. I remember before I got married, my colleagues and I used to play tennis, badminton, swim and do all sorts of things together. Really missed those times. Whenever I'm free now, my thoughts all filled with memories of such happy events.

I read in the papers recently about late-night shopping. Some shopping centres will remain open until midnight on every last Friday of the month. I told Ken that I am going to reserve the last Friday of the month for myself, so that I can go out on my own and maybe find back some of my sanity. Thank God Ken is a terrific hubby. He said, Go ahead! Go! Go and do whatever you like! So, anyone want to join me?

Faith moves mountains

2006-07-14T08:55:00.000+08:00

As I was cycling home from van's school, I noticed that I ride past 3 different places of worship. A Catholic church, a Chinese temple and a Hindu temple. In all three, I can see people closing their eyes and saying their prayers. Somehow, it gives me a sense of peace and calm too.

In my family alone, we have about 3-4 different types of religious faith, from Islam to Christianity to Taoism. My sisters and I were all born Catholics, and as we got older and got married, each of us had our own faith. I am the only one remaining as a Catholic. Even my 2 grandmas, who each have their own faith, were converted to Catholicism by my mum. Mummy did what she thought was best for them. Ah Ma3 died a Catholic, and I strongly believe she had no inkling that she was a Catholic when she passed on. This is the faith that Mummy held on that when we are cleansed of our sins when we depart, we will enter into the heaven.

Why, even ah Ma4, who earned a living selling joss sticks and incense papers all her life, converted to Catholicism after she had stroke and stayed in mum's house. Mummy managed to "pyscho" her into converting and ah ma4 now has holy communion sent to her by ministers from the church.

Ken's religious faith was Taoism (and I suspect he still is). Before we got married, mummy made him attend the RCIA at church. He attended it for about a year (probably out of fear that he won't get to marry me if he didn't?!!?!) but in the end, he didn't get baptised. His reason? He's not ready, or so he claimed. My guess is he didn't want to convert out of respect for his parents. I feel uneasy about it, but his mum still burns the incense paper and put it in water for him to drink. I didn't want to force him or question him, out of respect for him also. He has already done what was best for my kids when he made a promise before we got married that all our kids will be brought up as Catholics.

As I get older, I have a heavier responsibility to shoulder. I have to ensure that my kids don't stray into bad company and making sure I'm a good role model for them. They are now at an age where they question everything they see and hear. Just the other day, Gab asked me plenty of questions on God. Not all of them I can come up with an answer. In fact, some questions he asked actually made me sit down and think deep.

Many of us will turn to God more often when we are in trouble. I, too, am not proud to say that I am a culprit myself. Remember my post on "Patience"? I pray for more patience everytime. I think God has answered my prayers. I'm now making a more conscious effort not to snap at my kids whenever they are disobedient. It's difficult when the devil decides to make friends with them, but I'm getting there. At the end of the day, there is less tension in the family, they are happy, and so am I.

Whatever our religious faith is, it gives us a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging and ensure that we stay true to ourselves and what we believe in. Amen.

Courtesy is for free

2006-07-04T10:07:00.000+08:00

It’s no wonder that Singapore was ranked 30th out of 35 countries in the Reader’s Digest survey on courtesy. I experienced it first hand this morning.

While choosing my bread, I saw that they were giving away free kaya for every Sunshine bread. I picked my bread and walked to the counter. The cashier quickly accepted my money and gave me my change. When I asked about the free kaya, they told me there’s no more. At that point, I wanted to change my bread to a different one since there was no kaya. I asked the cashier, this malay girl, if I could change my purchase. It’s perfectly fine with me if she had said no, I can’t change my purchase, but she said ok, but with much reluctance.

I tolerated her the first time she muttered “lehcheh” under her breath. As I was walking away to change my bread, she said it a second time. While picking my bread on the shelf, I thought to myself, “Ok, I created a little trouble for her, let her say it to vent her frustration”. But as I passed her the bread, to my horror, she said it a 3rd time, right in front of me. I asked her, “Why did you say that?” Instead of apologizing, she explained that it’s very troublesome to cash in and out. There wasn’t even a queue and it’s just a matter of punching in a few keys, surely that won’t cost her much energy?

I was fuming all the way home, vowing to complain about her. Now after much thought, I have second thoughts. Knowing how vicious people are nowadays, I’m apprehensive about complaining. We read about people getting murdered and beaten up almost every week. For all you know, she might be a psycho who has murderous thoughts. What if she gathered her malay friends and ambush me? I still want to live a few more years.

One thing’s for sure. I will never step into that store again. If you were me, what would you have done?

Patience

2006-06-26T09:10:00.000+08:00

School hols are over, finally. This June holidays have been one stressful month. As the kids get older, they are having trying to make their own decisions, which are often, in my opinion, not always the correct decisions. I have to invariably give them my 5 cents' worth but most of the time it can't penetrate their thick skulls. I suspect these kids of mine are put into existence for one reason, that is, to test my patience. I used to be an extremely patient person but after having kids, this patient person no longer exist. In fact, this patience has been stretched so many times it has lost its elasticity. If you look closely enough, you can even see that it has been mended many times over too.

My prayers to God have always centred on patience, patience, patience. Try as I might, but it’ll snap somehow. Guess I need to load more patience to make things work.

Yesterday morning, I had a nerve-wrecking time. It was my first national competition and I had been feeling nervous from the moment I woke up. You see, I got into the grand finals of the Logic9 sudoku competition. I should feel proud of myself because according to the organizers, thousands of people signed up and only 30 from each category get to the final round. I belong to the 30's & 40's group.

As I sat in front of the terminal with the rest of the other contestants, with the videos and cameras zooming in on us, my hands were shaking with nervousness. I clicked on the start button and tried my best to solve the puzzle. When I was more than ½ way through, I heard the 3rd “Congratulations” music from the guy next to me, I was like, sh**, there goes my top 3 prizes. After that, I heard another “Congrats” music as I was solving the last of my puzzle. A few seconds later, I clicked on my last answer and my own “congrats” screen came up. I was 5th.

I was hoping to be fast enough to be in one of the top 3 prizes, and I was especially looking forward to getting the 2nd prize as it was the Osim i-gallop. Anyway, it was an experience of a lifetime. The champion was unbeatable. I don’t think I can solve the puzzle in that time under such stress.

My goal next year is to be one of the top 3 winners. Van will join the competition with me next year as she has learnt how to solve the puzzles herself. She’ll be there for the experience.

By the way, after the competition, we took a walk around the S’pore Science Centre. I have not been there since my Pri 6 excursion, which was like more than 20 years ago. We were not even inside the Science center and there were already so many things to explore outside the premises. We will definitely visit this place during the next school holidays.

Till my next entry, take care and good bye.

All about van & Sudoku too

2006-06-01T23:33:00.000+08:00

I checked my email a while ago and learnt that I got into the semi-finals of the Logic9 competition organised by NTUC income! Wondering if there were just a few participants or was I that quick in solving the Sudoku puzzle?

I have been hooked on the game ever since I was introduced to it many months ago. Whenever I get my hands on the Today papers, the first thing I'll do is to flip to the Sudoku page. My mummy gets very frustrated whenever she sees me so engrossed in solving the puzzle, and being oblivious to the kids' nonsense. My daily challenge is to be able to break my previous best timing.

Just 2 days ago, I taught Van how to solve the sudoku puzzles and even went to the bookstore to get her a copy of the kid's version. I'm amazed that she got the concept rather quickly and she managed to solve 2 puzzles on her own yesterday. I'm very proud of Van. Let me relate an incidence to illustrate why I'm so proud of Van.

For the past couple of weeks, Van had been complaining that her lower 2 front teeth are shaky. I told her to leave it alone and let the teeth fall off by themselves. We left it at that until one fine day, I decided to examine her mouth closely. It was then that I realised there were 2 new permanent sticking out from the inside of her gums. As these 2 teeth looked rather oddly placed, I decided that she should have her teeth checked by the dentist.

I called her school dentist and booked an appointment on the last day of the school term as the dentist was only available then. Van has never been to a dentist before in her entire life and what made me so proud of her was the fact that she went to the dental clinic all by herself and she didn't even shed a tear when 2 of her teeth were extracted. Such a brave little girl. I doubt I'll be as brave if I were her.

She looks so cute now, especially when she smiles, and she's so happy she got her teeth extracted she showed the extracted teeth to her aunts, uncles, cousins, grandpas and grandmas.

I must really cherish these moments while the kids are still young. I'm sure I'll miss their cute antics once they get older.

Little angels

2006-05-10T09:50:00.001+08:00

I learnt from a good friend of mine that she's expecting! I am really happy for her. Let's all pray that both her baby and her will be healthy.

I love to look at babies. Cute little babies always bring a smile to my face. When I go to church, I'll try to sit behind this particular family who has an adorable little girl. I found out her name was Anna when her little brother said "Peace be with you, Anna". Later on, I found out that her actual name was Anastasia. Pretty name. Her name suits her perfectly. She's such a sweet baby and I'll describe her in great detail to Ken when I get home from church. Ken will say, "There you go again, going crazy over babies again.. you want one more is it?!"

That set me thinking. Do I want one more? I thought hard. I thought deep. Frankly, I don't mind having another one, my heart tells me, but there's another part of me that tells me otherwise. I suffered from depression after my first 2 kids, so I'm worried I might lapse into depression again this time round. I'm not getting any younger, and the 3 little ones that I already have are fighting for my love and attention, it's making me exhausted.

Meantime, I'll try my best to shower all my love on Van, Gab and Ivan. I can also feel their own reciprocal unconditional love. They are my pride and my joy. What more can I ask for?

Elect the best

2006-05-01T09:03:00.000+08:00

Election day is nearing. I have listened to different camps giving their views on who we should vote for. Many want to vote for the opposition, not because they do not support the government, but their intentions are to make sure the government doesn't become too complacent. These voters merely want to make sure the government can put things in check before they decide to proceed with making major decisions involving things like rising prices and the like.

I have all along been a supporter of the government. My all-time idol is MM Lee. Though there are stories (bad ones) about him, I'll always hold him in high regard. His son is doing quite a good job too, though I'm all against his decision to proceed with the IR project. I know of someone who is so against the government, the Lees in particular, that even watching PM Lee laugh draw great wrath.

We lead a comfortable life and we can afford most things. For the past few years, whenever the kids fall ill, we'll head straight to the paediatrician. Fees at the specialist's clinic don't come cheap. Consultation alone costs $30-$35. For the last couple of years Ivan has been falling sick quite often, so Ken's medical claims had reached it's limit even before the year ended. It was then that we decided to switch our focus to the polyclinics. I had not known about our heavily subsidised medical costs before our visit to the polyclinic. Imagine my surprise when we had to pay less that $10 for a whole bunch of medicine! Though we do not have the personable services of the paediatrician, the docs at the poly are not bad either. Now that Ivan is being diagnosed as being asthmatic, we'll need more of such subsidised costs.

The government or the opposition, I admire most of the politicians. They work in a stressful environment. Look at their greying/ falling hair and you'll know what I am talking about. Whoever the citizens vote for, may the best man win.

On a lighter note, here's something to share with you.. Gab has been into different car models. He recognises most models commonly found on the road, like Nissan, Toyotas, Chevrolet, Peugeot, Lexus. Last Saturday when I was watching the election campaign broadcast on TV, the different parties' logos began flashing on the TV. SDA's logo, with a star and 4 circles appeared. Gab suddenly shouted, "Hey, Audi!"

Sharpen my pencil

2006-04-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

Just now I was watching Gab sharpening his pencil. After sharpening, he placed the pencil against the table and broke the lead. Then he took the sharpener and started to sharpen the same pencil again, and just like before, put the pencil against the table and broke the lead again.

I was curious and asked him, "Why are you doing that for?" It was then that I realised what his real intentions were.

He said, "This pencil is too long for my pencil case. I want to make it shorter so that it can fit into my pencil case!"

New Bike

2006-04-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

My legs have been working hard lately. We have bought a new bike and I've been using it since to fetch Van to school in the morning.

It only costs a fraction of the bike I lost a while ago, but it has worked much harder. It's not a mountain bike so it does not have the power that a mountain provides. Thus every paddle I make only goes that far. The journey to Van's school, though it's a direct route, made me work every of my thigh muscle, coz there are a lot of up-slopes along the way. When I reach home after that, my legs will be like jelly. The distance is not that long though, about 5km back and forth, but I guess it should be enough for my daily dose of exercise.

Getting my dad's endorsement hadn't been easy though. When he first knew that I was using the bike to fetch Van to school, he was furious, so fuming mad that he refused to appear at my doorstep when he fetched the kids home. It took me some time to convince him that it's actually quite safe since I use the pedestrian walkway the entire way and the only time I use the road is when I need to cross the traffic light, and there are only 3 traffic lights we need to cross. Though he's not cross with me anymore, but he's still not too keen on the idea.

Well, parents are like that. No matter we are 6 or 36, they'll always worry for their kids. I wonder if I'll be like my dad when I get old. Instead of closing one eye, I'll probably have to close both eyes, as I can foresee one of my kids who will make me worry. He is none other than Ivan. He has a stubborn streak in him and if he wants something done, nothing will make him do otherwise. I'm not praying for him to be a great intellect. All I want is for him, and in fact my other 2 kids to grow up to be good people. They don't have to be doctors, lawyers or bankers, just good people who earn an honest living.

Easter

2006-04-17T09:52:00.000+08:00

The Gospel of Judas has been generating lots of news lately. As I sat through Good Friday's mass, hearing the words "Judas the traitor" in the readings, it made me wonder about the Judas gospel. Well, how true it is we'll never know. Who is to decide what is right or what is wrong? At the end of the day, all I believe is there IS a God.

Though I'm not a pious Catholic, and I must admit I have doubts about the religion now and then, I firmly believe God is somewhere out there. I don't know about you, but I believe God also sends guardian angels to protect each and every one of us. I have a few encountered a few events where I feel my guardian angels was there to watch over me.

It's the Easter season, so Happy Easter to all of you!

If Music be the food of love..

2006-04-07T09:46:00.000+08:00

I love music. All sorts. There was once I heard an indian musician playing the sitar on the radio and I was mesmerised by the beautiful tune, the day after, I went in search of the CD and added that to my many varied collection of CDs.

There are pop tunes, classical, gospel, jazz, musicals, English, Cantonese, Mandarin, but I don't have Hokkien songs. Though my musical taste may be varied, I do not particularly like Hokkien songs, until I heard my upstairs neighbour singing on his karaoke machine. Let's sidetrack abit and let me tell you abt that neighbour of mine.

They are not all that considerate I must say, esp on the day of their housewarming party. You could have mistaken there was a getai around our neighbourhood. Yes, it was that loud. We had our tv on but we couldn’t even hear a single sound coming from our own tv. All we can hear are those people blasting on the karaoke machine. It went on for quite a while until we could stand it no longer. Ken went up and politely asked them to play their songs softer but it went on for another couple of hours. Other than this rather unpleasant experience, I must admit that the guy staying upstairs have a fantastic vocal. He loves to sing Hokkien songs and his voice control is amazing. When he is in a considerate mood, the music will be at a volume where Ken and I actually enjoy listening to him sing! The Hokkien songs he sings are also pretty nice too.

I have been trained as a classical pianist, and I was this close to getting a teacher’s diploma for the piano when my course was disrupted by my university studies. My mum has been nagging since I stopped working to earn some pocket money by giving piano lessons. I have my reservations. Firstly, I haven’t been practicing for a long long time now and my fingers have stiffened. Though I can still play the Fur elise and some other pieces by heart, it’s not the same anymore. My biggest obstacle is none other than my little princess, aka Van. She has this phobia of anyone playing on the piano. Everytime a note is being played, she’ll put her hands over her ears and run for cover, like there’s going to be an explosion. Thus, there’s no way I can practice and make a living out of it. My greatest wish is for her to overcome this fear and once I get my endowment payout from my insurance, I’ll get myself a digital piano. Actually, my living room is big enough for a baby grand… HA! Dream on..

There are also many musicians I admire, and I especially hold someone like Beethoven in high regard. Deafness didn’t stop him from composing beautiful music. I think I’m showing some symptoms of deafness recently. For the past month, my ears have been constantly blocked and it got so bad at times that my head will spin and I’ll lose my balance. The doc gave me some medication and it has gotten better but every other day, it still gets blocked. Just the other day, Fr Simon P was preaching and he gave the most interesting sermons. Of all times, my ears have to be blocked that day, and at times when he spoke in a low speech tone, I couldn’t hear a word, it gets frustrating. When I come back home, the kids are screaming and shouting and it became really intolerable. If you happen to meet me on the street and call for me and I didn’t reply, just come over and say HI. I might be having blocked ears.

What I am experiencing now has made me appreciate sounds, and music even more. If all I can hear is the sound of silence, it’ll be a terrible blow to me. Though I can then take a break from the din that the 3 kids make all the time, it wouldn’t be the same anymore.

If music be the food of love, play on..

Happy 36th to me!

2006-04-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

Today's my birthday. Nothing fantastic, but I have many things to be thankful for.

As I was watching Kelvin Tan (Proj superstar winner) crooning his love songs on stage last night, I thought to myself, "I thank God for the gift of sight." Look at Kelvin, he's so successful on stage, but what a pity he can't get to see the smiles and admiration on his audiences' faces when he sings. Though at times I can't wait for my kids to disappear before my eyes when they got me angry, there are also times that I can't take my eyes off them, especially those rare occassions when they are transformed into angels. It'll be a shame if I can't get to see them grow up.

Not many people my age can be happily married to a wonderful husband, and to top it off, be a mother to 3 kids. It's a gift that God has given me, and I'm very thankful for it.

Thank you, Lord, for my parents, without them and their help, I would be one stressed-out woman.

The list goes on and on, with many things that I am thankful for. Dear Lord, thank you for everything.

Hang On there

2006-02-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

I’ve been in a daze since afternoon. Very sad and dazed. I learnt today that a friend of mine from university has passed away. This was what happened.

During Van’s orientation, I noticed a parent from Van’s class who looks like my friend’s husband. I didn’t see his wife, and at that time, I didn’t go up to him to ask him coz I want to wait for the right opportunity to ask.

Throughout this couple of months, while waiting for Van at school, I noticed this father waiting for his daughter. I like to observe people, and I feel a certain sense of sadness surrounding this father. He also seemed to be deeply in thoughts most of the time. I never had a chance to check whether his wife was indeed my friend until today.

He was there as usual to pick up his daughter after school and coincidentally, we exited from the same gate. I quickly asked Van what’s the girl’s name, and I told Van to check with the girl’s on her mum's name. Van said ok, and then she suddenly recalled, “But her mummy has passed away!”

My heart skipped a beat when I heard that. Oh dear, what happened? Van said after the girl came back from a holiday in Canada, her mum fell sick and died. So sad. I was wondering, why wasn’t I informed about her mum’s death from my U friends?

Wanting to probe further, I messaged a friend of mine if she knows anything about this incident. She called me after a while and she said she didn’t know either, but she checked with another friend and it’s indeed my friend who has passed away. Apparently, this friend of mine had a brain tumour and she probably was too depressed to get it treated, she ended her life by taking pills.

In my opinion, one must have a lot of guts to kill oneself. She must have felt so helpless that she can even forsake that few years she could have spent with her daughter to end her life so abruptly. Imagine the last moments of her life, the emptiness and sadness she must have felt.

This brings back memories of my uncle, who ended his life more than 20 years ago. He was a gambling addict, and borrowed heavily with the loan sharks. There were many times where my parents drove out late into the night to help my aunt locate the whereabouts of my uncle. They drove to places where they think he gambled. Before the death, he had also attempted suicide previously. It was my grandma who foiled his attempt. It was then they kept a closer tab on him to prevent him from taking his own life, but it was not to be. One day, my grandma came home and found him together with a gas cylinder, with a blanket draped over both the cylinder and him. He was dead by the time they found him. I was extremely sad when I learnt about his death. He had been an uncle who gave generously. We always receive great gifts from him for our birthdays. If he had lived till today, he would have been proud of his children, especially his son, who will be returning from England with a PhD. He will also be a proud grandpa with 4 grandkids.

Life is so unpredictable, so fragile. Let’s make the most of what we have today so that we will have no regrets when it’s time to say goodbye.

Strange

2006-02-20T08:31:00.000+08:00

It's been 5+ months since we moved into this neighbourhood, and many unforeseen things have happened apart from those incidents I’ve written in my blog previously.

I've had a 10-year-old bike parked outside our house, all chained up with a number lock. I bought it for $600 with my hard-earned money 10 years back. Ken's bro borrowed it for a while and when we moved to our new home, we brought it back. It was brought to good use as both Ken and I used it for cycling around the neighbourhood for our exercise. We stopped using it for a while as Ken was outstation often and I had to mind the kids. Hence it was forgotten for a little while. One fine day, I thought to myself, "Hey, I haven't been cycling for some time now, and come to think about it, I haven’t noticed the bike also.” When I got outside and looked at where my bike was parked, horror of all horrors, it’s no longer there! Sotong me, I didn’t even realized when it was first stolen. We couldn’t report to the police because I can’t tell exactly when it was stolen, so we just had to let the matter rest. Poor bike, we had great plans for it. We had intended to get a child seat so that the kids can get a ride when we go cycling.

A couple of months later, something else happened. My floor brush that cost barely $2 was stolen from outside our flat! Goodness, whoever stole the brush must have been really desperate to get a brush.

What happened yesterday was the ultimate.

When we got back from lunch, I noticed a bottle of shoe whitener placed on the bench outside my house. I had been drying the kids’ school shoes at the common area to get maximum exposure to the sunlight. The shoe whitener person must either be thinking I haven’t been doing a good job with cleaning the shoes or he/she has an extra bottle of the liquid lying around at home waiting to be gotten rid of. It’s strange because at the floor where we are staying, apart from our neightbour’s 2 little puppies who’s younger than our kids, there’s no kids who need school shoes staying at our level. What's even stranger is, I left the bottle of whitener where it was when we left for my in-laws in the evening, and when we got home at night, the shoes were applied with the whitener!

The person must be obsessed with having white shoes. Maybe I should have saved the trouble of scrubbing the shoes and just left it outside for whoever to clean it!

I wonder what’ll happen next..

Where's my birthday cake?

2006-02-09T09:16:00.000+08:00

It's Ivan's 3rd birthday today. Wonder what goes on his little mind when we sang him the Happy Birthday song. The only thing I am sure of is him asking, "But there's no cake!" Well, he associates the birthday song with cakes..

It seemed just like yesterday where I was in the Operating Theatre waiting to get Ivan out of me. I've been trying to recall for the past few days the events that led me to the hospital to give birth to Ivan, but to no avail. Some people might think it's useless to think of something so trivial, but I have this habit of constantly trying to remember/ recall things or events that happened to the kids.

I had no problems recounting the time when I first felt the labour pains kicked in when I had Van. As for Gab, the memory is a little hazy, but I still remember sending emails when I first felt pain. I'm sad to say that I have absolutely no recollection of what happened for Ivan’s case. Perhaps it's the mind subconsciously filtering out the information for events that was traumatising.

What I could remember clearly was I was in agony, pushing the whole night, and despite having the epidural and the gas, I was still in pain. When day was about to break, I was so fatigued from all the pushing I wanted to give up. Finally when Doc came in, she ordered an emergency C-section coz Ivan's heartbeat started dropping. God, she should have cut me up in the first place, I thought to myself. The nurses asked me for consent, and I remembered saying, I don't care what you do, just get him out of me! I konked out soon after and the next time I awoke I was in the room already.

The first thing that came to my mind was Ivan. However, I was feeling the after effects of the epidural and my whole body was shaking and shivering, and there was nobody around to ask as I was all alone in the room. Thank God things came out fine, and we have the honour of celebrating his 3rd birthday today.

Happy birthday dear Ivan!

Money makes the world go round

2006-02-08T10:50:00.000+08:00

Many many moons ago, when I was much younger and unmarried, during the CNY period, I remember waiting eagerly to get home after CNY visiting so that I could start counting my "fortune" that I had accumulated. I loved the feel of crisp new notes in my fingers as I counted my wealth. Needless to say, the ang pows I collected disappeared as quickly as I collected them. Then I would start looking forward to the next CNY again..

Strangely, I was unusually reluctant to do the same this year. It’s probably due to the fact that the ang pows I was counting would not end up in my own pocket! I must say the kids have amassed a rather handsome amount this year. So off to the bank these money will go.

As I sit here now wondering what to write next, I think of how fortunate I am. Thank God for Ken, whose thriftiness is a real bonus to my family. If not for this virtue of his, we wouldn’t be where we are today. Things like clothes, shoes and most material things are immaterial to him. He wouldn’t even bat an eyelid if he was to wear a 10-year-old shirt for CNY. He believes in saving for a rainy day, so most of what he earns goes into insurance for the whole family.

People have asked us why don’t we get a car since it’s more convenient that way. Sure, it’s convenient, but it’s also not wise to own a car as it’ll be sitting in the car park most of the time. The wise man, aka Ken, said that he’ll rather save up the money and bring us for a nice trip abroad. Well said. This virtue of his has certainly rubbed off a little on me. In the past, I wouldn’t hesitate to buy whatever I fancy. However, the same thing cannot be said of me now. I’ll think thrice before I get anything because I know that unlike days of yore, my account will be topped up every month once I get my salary, but now, my account will only get plumped up when my dear husband shares some of his bonus with me, which happens only once a year.

I was deeply moved when he volunteered to help me pay my insurance premium as soon as I stopped working. My insurance savings will mature in 10 years’ time and I can’t wait to withdraw the entire amount and share it with Ken. By then the kids will be much older and perhaps the both of us, just the both of us, can finally have a well-deserved holiday abroad!

Thank you dear lou gung, love you!

Xin Nian Kuai Le

2006-02-01T08:59:00.000+08:00

I took leave from blogging because every time I switch on the laptop, Ivan will hop onto my lap and ask “What are you doing?” There’s no way I can key in anything coz his little fingers will be hopping around from one key to another. Why is he not on my lap now? Heehee, I just switched on Lilo & Stitch for him to watch! He’s sick of Monsters Inc, The Incredibles and I’m digging into my older VCD collection to entertain him. He just watched Toy Story the other day so I doubt he’ll watch it again today.

So, what was I doing all these while? I’ve been driving Porsches, Ferrari, Saleen.. all those fast cars. No, I’ve not turn into a chauffeur for a rich guy, rather, I’ve been driving all these cars in the Xbox! It’s rather addictive to drive these fast cars, which can go up to more than 180km/hr.

In the Apprentice, the winning team had a sum of money to buy games for underpriviledged or sick children, and they bought lots of Xbox-es for them. Starhub was giving away free Xbox with subscription (I think). We got the Xbox when Ken won it in his company’s X’mas lucky draw, and I’ve been hooked on to the box since.

Even Gab is an expert at driving now. He’s so engrossed when he’s driving you can see his whole body turning whenever his car makes a corner, and Van said Gab looked like he’s dancing the para-para when he’s driving.

Talking about Van, her enthusiasm for school has finally worn off. She’s complaining about too much homework, waking up too early, her PE teacher, the food.. Can you believe what she said? She said, “I wish I was already on my last day of the University.” , and she’s just barely one month into her Pri 1! She’s around people who’s not studying most of the time, like gongong, mama, and me, so to her, our lives are in a way better than hers. I’ve explained to her we had gone through all these to arrive at where we are today, but she’s still not convinced.

Thinking back, I vaguely remember I was in her shoes also, wondering why we had to study, wishing I was already working when I was in my teens. How time flies.. I’m already a mother of 3. I’m one child short of my ideal 4 children, but I’m not complaining! 3 is enough to make me a monster, I can’t imagine what no. 4 will turn me into.

It’s the CNY period, here’s wishing one and all a healthy and fruitful new year! God Bless!

Temporary Freedom

2006-01-08T15:24:00.000+08:00

Here I am, having the luxury of using my computer without having someone to sit on my lap or fiddling with my keyboard, or best of all, no one is here at home at all!

This is definitely a luxury for me, once in a blue moon, sanity-preserving time. You see, my dear husband is away (again) in KL for work and he won't be home till tomorrow evening and my dear kids, are at gonggong's house. As for me, why do I have the privilege of staying at home alone? I’m waiting for the Ikea guys to deliver our shelves.

We have stayed here for barely 4 months and it’s gradually turning into a pig sty, especially the computer room cum toys room. The boxes of toys are stacked precariously on top of each other to the point where it’s at a danger of collapsing on whoever is “lucky” to be near enough when it topples. To save ourselves a trip to the hospital, we have decided to get shelves to store the kids’ stuff neatly. Just pray that the kids will not pull these shelves down!

They are really hard to contain (I wanted to say especially the boys, but thinking back, the princess is also getting very fierce and violent these days). I sincerely wish they would outgrow this naughty phase soon before I suffer a stroke or heart attack or even die from grief.

Let’s all pray for a unforgettable year ahead !(unforgettably good of coz!) God Bless you all!

Colours

2006-01-04T08:28:00.000+08:00

Without colours, life will be so dull. Colours play an important role in our lives. The walls of our rooms, our clothes, different coloured vegetables etc. As I rewind my memory database as far back as I could, I don’t recall having a favourite colour when I was a kid. However, it’s not the same with my own kids.

Van’s fave colour is pink. If you open her wardrobe, you’ll be greeted with shirts, skirts, pants in different shades of pink. I suppose girls these days love the colour pink. I was not a great fan of pink but I must say I’ve been greatly influenced by Van’s “pink-ness”! So much so that I actually look for pink shirts when I’m shopping! Yesterday was the first day of primary school for Van. As I brought her to the lobby area to look for her class, I was amazed at all the pink, Barbie and Disney Princess bags there are all around. It’s quite a lovely sight. It lifts up your mood when you see such a cheerful colour.

Ivan’s fave colour is definitely not pink. This almost 3 yrs old boy associates pink with being girly. Other than his pink cheeks, you won’t find anything else pink from him. Can you imagine, he won’t even eat a pink sweet!

Blue is Gab’s favourite colour. He, like Ivan thinks boys must not have any pink on him. He’ll say “Eee, you look like girl girl.” Besides having blue as his favourite colour, most of the time, you’ll also find him in jeans (unless he ran out of jeans to wear), and finishing the outfit with a leather belt. He also likes collared shirts. Is this the making of a cool macho young man? Only time will tell.

Let’s go back to Van’s first day of school. She has been looking forward to starting school and throughout the whole Dec hols, she had been asking, “When am I starting school?” And I must say her good image and expectation of school was not tarnished on her first day. She enjoyed it a great deal. I was there for her recess. They were all assigned a buddy from Pri 3 and Van’s buddy is a bubbly little girl. She made sure Van got her food and both of them sat down to eat. Van, as usual, was slow with her food, taking her own sweet time, nibbling at the nasi lemak. When her buddy has finished her sandwiches and Van has yet to eat even finish half of her rice, Van’s buddy said, to my amusement, “Can I feed you?” haha. Very cute. Van politely told her she can eat on her own.

Kids, they are such contradicting creatures. They make you laugh, they make you cry. They make you angry, they make you so proud of them. When the going gets rough, I wish I could run away from it all, but when they are not around, I miss them terribly. Kids, how can you do without them? Kids, they add colours to our lives!

'Tis the season to be jolly

2006-01-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

Goodbye 2005, welcome 2006! We have showers of blessings throughout the first day of the new year. It's been raining on off since this morning.

2005 has been a year filled with mixed emotions. It had it’s fair share of laughter, joy, frustration, anger, sadness. Some events are best left forgotten. These were those days where at least one of the 3 rascals will make me hopping mad. (Maybe if you look closely enough, you could even see fumes coming out from my ears and nostrils.) And there were those days where the same 3 rascals will make me laugh and beam with pride. Whether good or bad, I have learnt to be wiser from these lessons.

Let's pray that the new year will bring more joy and peace. As my little princess is going to begin Pri 1 in a couple of days time, I sincerely hope the stressful school life will not get to her. My little Gab prince will start K1. He has grown a lot since the holidays start, both physically and intellectually and boy, is he inquisitive. He has a “Why?” for every single thing he sees. Ivan has also grown. This little boy has grown to be more stubborn, and more clingy to me. He gets jealous when his gorgor and zeze comes near me. He’ll say, “She’s my mummy.” And then he’ll come and grab my arm and wouldn’t let go. In fact, it’s beginning to get very hard to be a mummy these days. It’s very difficult to heap praises on one without another showing you a sour face. Sibling rivalry is indeed getting hot here!

OK, to all you out there, here’s wishing you a great year ahead, good health and God bless!

Our Trip

2005-12-20T14:15:00.000+08:00

Welcome home! It’s been 2 days since we came back from our trip to Genting & KL, and what a trip it was! In our gang of 5, 4 of us fell sick. The only fit one was Van.

Let’s start from the beginning. We started Day 1 on a good note. The coach ride there was ok, nobody had motion sickness, Gab slept most of the journey there, all thanks to the Promethezine he consumed before the trip. The weather in Genting is a good change from the weather in Singapore. We were all amazed by the great number of people there. Everywhere we go there are crowds. The first station we went to was the Rainforest Splash Pool. It’s an indoor heated pool, complete with slides. The kids had great fun. Our second stop was Snow World, something similar to the Snow City we have back home. Before we were allowed into the snow area, we have to choose from racks of jackets for the size we need. Since we were at the end of the queue, we didn’t have much of a choice. Ken grabbed a ‘S’ for Ivan. The stubborn little boy refused to put it on coz he insisted it’s not his size. He laid on the floor in protest, attracting much attention. After much persuasion, he finally allowed me to put it on for him. Then came the gloves. It was again too big for his little hands, and he kicked up a fuss again. *Sigh* After wasting a good 10 – 15 minutes (we only have 40 minutes in the snow area), we finally went in. Once in, the kids had fun with the snow, and the slide. It was very cold, with a temperature of –5 degrees. My toes were frozen stiff. Though I felt it was an anti-climax without much activities, it was quite an experience for the kids to feel cold, real freezing cold.

The next day was theme park day again. The kids went for many rides on the bumper car. Gab & Van are good drivers, avoided bumping into other drivers. Ivan was the passenger in Van’s car. What I enjoyed looking at was when after a long wait at the queue, when it’s finally their turn to enter the rink, it’s fun to look at their look of happiness and enthusiasm as they rush into the rink to pick their car. The rest of the day was filled with more rides.

On the last day at Genting, we chilled out in the hotel room before we checked out and headed for KL in a taxi. Oh gosh, I wish we didn’t have to re-live that day again. Barely 10 minutes into the ride, Ivan started throwing up. As I myself was feeling a little queasy, I had to hold back my own to tend to him. This little boy, when he vomits, he doesn’t stay still to empty his contents into the plastic bag. He moves his head around, spraying those yucky things on the window, on the seat and even some on the taxi driver’s head! (thank God the driver didn’t realize!) Anyway, he had a few more vomit episodes along the way. Of coz Gab was also not spared. When we finally reached Pan Pac hotel, I rushed to the toilet and emptied my entire breakfast into the toilet bowl. (I suddenly had flashback to about 25 years ago when I first went to Genting with my family. I was just like Ivan, throwing up all the way (to and from) Genting. I didn’t have much memories of that place other than feeling sick the whole time.)

The hotel room in Pan Pac was huge. It had a king size bed, a sofa set, study table and can even accommodate an extra bed. We packed lunch from the mall opposite the hotel. Ivan had a good appetite. But minutes later, while lying on the bed, whatever he ate ended up on the bed. This is the start of an entire day of throwing up for poor little Ivan. After resting for a while, we headed to Times Square Berjaya. Our main aim was to go the Cosmos World, so we got tickets. We went straight to the bumper car ride, which was what the kids had longed for. Ivan saw the bumper car and very excitedly ran to queue, but was refused entry because he didn’t meet the required minimum height. He didn’t make a big fuss, rather, he came to the bench where I was sitting and laid down on the bench. The poor babe must be feeling exhausted after throwing up the entire journey to KL. Later on, we went for the train ride round the park and at the end of the ride, Ivan did it again. (If you were wondering whether he left a big mess wherever he goes, the answer is No, coz I have many plastic bags with me, which was almost used up by then). Anyway, the train attendant came to us and asked if we needed a paramedic to treat Ivan, and was subsequently brought to a clinic nearby. He had a supp inserted to stop his vomiting. The rest of the time was spent at the theme park, with Ivan resting on the bench.

(Talking about plastic bags, I have this principle of being green, to do my part in saving the environment. Whenever I go grocery shopping in Singapore, I will bring along my grocery bag and trolley to contain all my groceries, refusing any requests for plastic bags. However, this trip has made me go against my principles. Instead of refusing plastic bags, I even asked for more than what was given to me, all thanks to Ivan and Gab and myself of coz)

The next day we went to KLCC. We wanted to go up the Twin Towers, but the tickets were all snapped up by the time we got there, thus we went back for our shopping. We got back to the hotel after our lunch for a rest and a swim at the hotel pool. In the evening, we went to Chinatown, and had claypot rice. Afterwards, we had chocolate cake at Secret Recipe. Maybe it was the deadly concoction of oily claypot rice and chocolate cake that created havoc in Gab’s tummy. Halfway into the night, he woke up crying and threw up on the carpet floor. It was to be the first of many of such incidences the entire night (I have plastic bags ready for him by then). Finally, we decided to call reception for in-house doctor. Unfortunately, doc was on holiday and Ken had to bring Gab to a nearby clinic himself. Despite not feeling well himself, he had to carry Gab to a second clinic coz Gab didn’t want an injection in the first clinic coz they ran out of supp. This was not to be the end. When Ken got back, we went back to sleep, but halfway through, I was woken up by Ken, saying it’s Ivan’s turn.

Can you imagine chocolate cake in regurgitated form on plain white sheets?! Gosh, hope the chambermaid won’t curse us when she was to see the mess created in the room by the time we check out.

To sum up, the 3 of us fell sick by the time we got home. One by one we went to the clinic to get treated. Thank God Van and Ivan was alright on the way back.

Yesterday Ken was asking me, if I was given a million dollars, would I re-live the journey back from KL again? My reply was, “NO WAY! Not in a million dollars!” As I was lying on my bed, recovering from my chills, I was thinking, what will happen if I was to die there and then, what would happen to the housework piling up? All the unfolded clothes, clothes to be ironed, sheets to be changed, dishes to be washed, how will they cope if anything was to happen to me?

This trip, though tiring, has brought one thing clear to me. As the saying goes, “Health is Wealth”. How true! Never in my life would I exchange anything for health.

We are all well now, though feeling a little weak from the medication. All we have now are pictures and videos and memories (and of coz this blog!)to recount our Malaysian experience.

Happy holidays

2005-11-29T08:38:00.000+08:00

We are now watching our wedding cd. Van has decided to watch that this morning before Kids Central starts screening.

Oh, there's Ken on tv now.. I miss him.. he's gone to Sydney. Yes, without us. There's a change of plans and we felt that it's better to go to a neighbouring country instead. The Australian airport tax for our entire family alone could have taken us to a couple more places in Malaysia. So we’ll be setting off to Genting and KL when Ken comes back from Australia. Apparently the Australia airport tax has rocketed sky-high because of the increased security they have enforced at the airport.

Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise we were not in Australia. Ken said the place he’s staying at now is like our Tuas area back in S’pore. It’s a dead town by 6pm, and the only eating places that’s opened is Mac’s and KFC. So my poor fella has been subsisting on fast food and instant noodles he bought from the supermart for dinner.

Haha.. Gab just said, "Jackie Chan!" The cd is playing the scene in church now and Fr K just came out. Yes, looking at Fr K closely now, he indeed resembles Jackie Chan, with his stocky frame. I can't imagine what it'll be like if he was JC! 8-)

So it’s the kids and me until Saturday when Ken comes back. Meantime, I must look for ways to keep them entertained. It’s the school hols and having Van and Gab around in the morning only adds to more screams and shouts. Hope my sanity will still be intact by the time Ken returns.

Say Cheese

2005-11-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

I've learnt a very important lesson today. Maybe you should keep it in mind also. Before you embark on an ambitious plan to bake a cake/muffin/pie or wat have you, REMEMBER to first and foremost, check to see if your electrical appliance is working A-OK. This was exactly what I did not do.

Over the past couple of weeks, during the tv commercials, there was this ad from Kraft kitchens, with a woman making salad, sandwiches and lately, Oreo cheesecake, with ingredients from Kraft. Naturally, with me being a great fan of cheesecakes, decided that it’s an easy recipe to follow. Over the week, I’ve been gathering all the necessary ingredients for my cheesecake project. Today was project assignment day.

I was all excited and got all my ingredients out from the fridge, melted the white choc in the microwave, measured the right amount of gelatin, cut up the Philly into cubes and got the thickened cream. I double-checked all my ingredients again. Perfect. Ok, now for the electric mixer.

I plugged it on, placed the mixer into the bowl, turned on the switch, and waited.. and waited.. and waited.. all that happened was this whirrrrring sound coming from the machine. Oh-oh.. the machine is not working!

For a moment, I didn’t know what to do, wondering if I should abandon my plan. BUT, looking at the mess I’ve already created, there’s no turning back. I’ve got to improvise. Thank God my rusty brain was working today (all thanks to the sudoku puzzles I’ve been solving lately). I’ve got this blending machine that’s used to blend god-knows-what. The thing looks a little like the mixer I had, so I proceeded to pour all the Philly into the container, added the thickened cream and started the machine. Thank goodness it worked, and I finally had the Philly into this creamy mixture. Of course, I have Ivan a.k.a unofficial food taster beside me when I was doing all this. All this while he was saying, “Mummy, can I try the cheese?” “What’s that? Can I try?” I’ve got to stop him from tasting further otherwise half the mixture will be gone before I even pour the mixture out into the cake tin.

I have yet to check on the cake, but I gather it should turn out fine. Want a piece? ;-)

Dear God, I thank you for the food we eat. I pray that I can hold my temper while feeding the kids. I also pray that they’ll learn to eat faster and enjoy their food more. We pray to the Lord, AMEN.

Happy Deepavali

2005-11-01T23:02:00.000+08:00

Today is Deepavali, also a public holiday in Singapore. Holiday or no holiday, it makes no difference to me. Or maybe there's a difference.. at least Ken is around to help me look after the kids. Today's also All Saints' Day, a day of obligation. I went to St A's for mass for the first time since I've moved here. I must remember to bring a thick sweater there next time coz it's BRRRRRRR freeeeeeezing, with the aircons blowing at full blast.

All Saints' Day is a day set aside to honour all the saints. I haven't really found out what my saint did to make her a saint, so when I came back from mass, I surfed the web to try to know a little more about her. St M was threatened with death unless she renounced the Christian faith, but though there were attempts to burn her, or thrown into boiling water, she escaped unscathed. I am impressed.

One thing's for sure. I am not a saint and I am quite sure there's not even a remote chance of me being one. I know myself. Me, a great sinner. Anyway, I haven't been to confession for a long time now.. Thank God I am back to going to church every Sunday at least. There was a period where I stayed away from church. Going back to church has done a whole lot of good to my spiritual well-being.

I wished my kids will just sit still during mass. When Van was younger, we went to church together. She was well-behaved then. Things are not so now. Barely 5 minutes into the service, Gab will start asking, "Mummy, when are we going home?" And every few minutes after that he'll repeat the same question again and again. Hence, I have resolved not to bring them with me to church in future until they know how to behave. Van will be starting Sunday school next year. Hopefully she'll be better after attending the classes. As for Gab and Ivan, we'll just have to wait and see.

ok, you must be asking what is this photo of curtains doing in the middle of nowhere? Well, I am proud to present to you curtains I hand-made myself. I have been looking around for curtains that will fit nicely in the living room. If it fits, it's too expensive. If it's cheaper, it doesn't fit. So I resolved to make the curtains myself. With the marvelous invention of the sewing machine, it took me about 3 days to make these curtains, with tie-backs included. I am actually quite proud of myself. After hanging up the curtains, I sat on the sofa and admired them for quite a while.. Ken asked me why don't I make a business out of making curtains. Hmm... Well.. uhmm.. Let's see how it goes la.. Any takers?

Dear Lord, I thank all the saints for their intercessory prayers. Though I can't be a saint, I TRY to be saint-like (how, I must go and find out). I thank also all the great inventors who have invented things like sewing machines (so that I can sew my curtains and cushion covers), computers (for me to blog), LRTs (for Gab to wave behind the yellow line) and many other great inventions, without which we would probably still be in the stone age. I thank especially for peace in my country, in my home and in my heart. We pray to the Lord, AMEN.

Lonely Planet

2005-10-24T10:00:00.000+08:00

There is a glimmer of hope in escaping housework for at least a week! Yeah! You see, Ken has been sent by his boss to receive some training in Sydney, and he’s thinking of packing the whole family with him!

I haven’t been to Sydney before, so I’ve started on my Sydney research from the internet and also I’ve borrowed a couple of Sydney travel books from the library. This is not the first time I’ll be in Australia though. I’ve been to Brisbane and Gold Coast with my sis many moons back, before we were married. It was just my sis and me, without our parents, and it was fun! However, this time round, it’ll be my kids and me. I wonder how is it going to be like?

We have been abroad as a family, but just to neighbouring countries. We’ve been to KL, Bintan, that’s about it, but Sydney.. Wow! The KL trip was rather fun, and it was the first time they traveled by air. Gab, as usual, had motion sickness. ½ way during the ride, he asked me,”Mummy, can you ask the pilot to stop the plane?” The kids loved the funland at Times Square. Van and Gab went for many rides at the bumper car. Up till today, they are still thinking of the bumper car ride, and still bugging us when we can go there again.

In March, we went to Club Med Bintan. It was a wonderful trip. Very relaxing. I love especially where we don’t have to worry about our meals at all coz buffet meals were provided for every meal. Yummy… It’s worth going another time. HOWEVER, there’s one catch here. Van is now terrified of taking ferries (actually, me too). What happened was on our way there by ferry, the sea was so choppy that we were all sick (except Ivan and Ken) when we landed. I was controlling all the way to the resort, but couldn’t stand it any longer when we reached there, and I “merlion-ed”, emptying the contents of my stomach. Gab was worse. He threw up at least 3 times in the ferry itself. As for Van, the ferry ride home was worse than our trip there. Van got dizzy half-way during the journey and she started crying. She cried and cried until she fell asleep! The experience was so bad that she’s develop a phobia of taking ferry rides. So much so that she trembled with fear for the entire sampan ride we had along the Singapore River. Sigh.. another phobia to add to her already long list.

Gab is just like me (sometimes Ivan also). We suffer from travel sickness, be it car, airplane, ferry or even bus. I have to bring along at least 2 plastic bags, just in case we need to u-know-what. Just yesterday, Gab did it twice. Once when we took a bus to my in-laws, and another time when we came home. Poor boy. Once his lips start to turn pale, I know I have to whip out my plastic bag.

Ok, back to our Sydney trip.. though I’m not raising my hopes to high, coz things might change. Anyway, if we were to go, I’ll konk the kids out with some travel sickness medication. It’s a long trip there, so I’ll not be able to stand it if all of them turn pale at the same time, coz I’m not so good myself!

Dear Lord, I know it’s going to be an adventure (and a monumental task) packing the family off to another country, but whatever it is, hope this trip is going to do some good to all of us! Thank you Lord for letting Ken have the means to provide for us, because many other families are not as fortunate as us. My greatest wish is to bring the kids to a 3rd world country to see the sufferings of other little kids, so that they’ll realize how lucky they are. We pray to the Lord, AMEN.

All about Gab

2005-10-17T16:27:00.000+08:00

Today’s blog is all about my son, Gabriel. He’s a funny boy. Has an infectious laughter. Asks a lot of questions. Speaks very loudly. You can’t miss his voice if you are around him.

Gab has been a very restless sleeper since he was a baby. Put him in one corner of his bed, he’ll “tour” around the entire bed throughout the night. He has fallen off our king size bed many times when he was still a baby. (Is that why he’s so mad now?!) On our first night in our new home, he rolled off his bed and fell onto Ivan, who was sleeping below him on the pull-out bed. Needless to say, Ivan cried when his gorgor fell onto him. That in turn, woke the whole family up. I went to their bedroom and woke Gab to go back to his own bed (Yes, he actually went back to sleep after falling onto Ivan!), and tugged Ivan back to sleep. He has been a better sleeper ever since.

We have been commuting a lot on the LRT since our move to the new house. It’s because the LRT station is built right in front of our block of flats. The kids love to take the LRT. From Day One, every time the train approaches, Gab will stand behind the yellow line, stick out his hand and wave at the approaching train. Everytime he does that, we’ll tell him there’s no need to wave. It happened again today, and finally, mystery is solved.

We were at the LRT station on our way to Sengkang poly. As usual, Gab waved at the approaching train. I told him, “Gabby, there’s no need to wave!” Gab answered, “But the aunty said (announcement over the PA system), “The train is arriving, please wave behind the yellow line.” HAHA. I can’t help but grin to myself. Silly boy.

Gab hurt his eye accidentally yesterday and he complained of pain when rubbing his eyes, and it looked sore. That was why we were on our way to the poly (again). The poly was not opened yet so we had to join the queue that was forming outside. In front of us stood a man with a big belly. I parked the pram behind him and the kids followed. It was then that Gab asked (loudly), “Mummy, what is wrong with that man?” “How would I know what’s wrong with him?” I answered. Then that boy, replied “Why does he have such a big stomach? Oh, I know, he has a baby inside.” Aiyo, so embarrassing, I wish I had a paper bag over my head.

When the kids are not making me angry, they are actually rather fun to be with. Their silly questions and replies can make your day.

Dear Lord, I pray today that these little monkeys will continue to enjoy good health and happiness. Continue to watch over them and protect them. We pray to the Lord, AMEN.

Excuse me, where is my cloth?

2005-10-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

The flats that are built today, architecture wise, it’s brilliant, however, one thing that is lacking is privacy. We can actually look into our neighbour's flats from our bedroom/ kitchen windows.

As you know by now, we have moved into our new home a month ago. How time flies, it seems like just yesterday I was doing all the packing into boxes our stuff. I have grown accustomed to this house now, in fact, it couldn’t have been better (no more lizards!), until a few days ago.

Some people are just so selfish. In a bid to get their homes spick and span, they often forget the fact that they have neighbours living below them.

We were one of the first to move into our block of flats. Only recently did our upstairs neighbour move in. Just a few days ago, as I was reading the papers in the kitchen, I noticed a head poking out of the window upstairs. I looked up and saw our neighbour trying to kaypoh, looking at me. I saw a glimpse of her face and carried on with my reading. Later on, I heard water coming from upstairs in the living room. Ivan exclaimed loudly, “Mummy, it’s raining!”. Then Van said, “No, it’s not rain, look at the sky, it’s so sunny.”

The selfish people upstairs were washing their windows. Not only did they not warn us to close our windows, their clumsy hands actually dropped a piece of cloth on the ledge outside our window (I suppose that was what they used to clean their windows). There was always a revengeful streak in me, so as a price to pay for dirtying my windows, I took a bamboo pole and flicked the cloth out of sight.

A while later, there was a knock on the door. I looked through the door hole. “Ah, the kaypoh woman who was looking from upstairs just now. Great.” “Excuse me, I dropped a piece of cloth at your ledge, can you help me to use a bamboo pole to get the cloth for me?” The woman asked in Chinese. I said, expressionless, “What? Oh, wait.” Then I strolled to the window and pretended to look for the cloth and told her there’s nothing there. She looked very puzzled. “Not there?”
“HA! Serves you right, selfish you” I thought to myself.

Our neighbours upstairs are not the only ones who think only of their own conveniences and putting others at a disadvantage. Everywhere you look, you would find people disposing plastic bags, soft drinks can, 7-eleven paper cups, tissue paper and the list goes on.. on the floor. I wonder, do they do it at home? I get very upset when I see that. I always have the urge to go up to the person and tell them off, but being the timid me, I’ll keep the comments to myself.

Dear Lord, I pray that we will learn to be more considerate, and think not only of ourselves, but of others as well. Let us learn to be more gracious and spare a thought for others in whatever we do. We pray to the Lord, AMEN.

I need help

2005-10-14T11:39:00.000+08:00

Why wasn't there an entry from me for a while now, you might ask. Answer is, I've been wondering what to write. How to express my frustrations. How to be a better mum. How not to be the Incredible Hulk.

So many things have happened for the past week.

Ken went and came back from QingDao, China. His work went smoothly and even had a letter of praise from his clients. Well done, my dear

Van probably hurt herself in the playground when she jumped down from quite a height. Gab followed what she did but thank goodness nothing happened to him. She was limping, complaining abt a pain in her right thigh. Mummy was here to massage for her, but when morning came, her pain was so unbearable I had to bring her to the poly. She had to skip school. It has been some time since I carried her and I noticed how heavy she has become. God, what a strain it was on my back.. and my arms. Doc gave painkillers and an ointment to apply. The ointment the doc gave must be a wonder drug, because less than an hour later, Van said her thigh doesn't hurt anymore. Up till today, I wonder if she was making it all up so that she could skip her Chinese spelling or if it was indeed a miracle drug. Anyway, let us give her the benefit of doubt.

I noticed recently, Gab has become more sensible. It's a good sign. Though he still gets me mad everyday, the frequency has significantly decreased. But not this morning. For the x times, he spilled his entire cup of milk on the floor again, and all that was done during the "morning rush hour" period. It's so maddening. Here I am, trying to get everyone ready for school and work, and there he is spilling the entire contents of his cup on the floor. And the thing is, he'll always say this when he spills his milk, "Mummy, please, I promise I'll not do this again!" Sigh.. what is a promise when you break it over and over again?

I remember when I was young, if I did anything wrong, one loud scream from my mum was enough to get the message across. It'll be edged permanently on my little mind. I've tried all sorts of methods to get my message into their head, but to no avail.

I've used the "hard" method, and the heart-to-heart talk approach. You should have seen my cane. It has seen better times. I've whacked it so hard (on the floor or table to scare them) that it has split open at the ends. Once in a while when things get out of hand, the cane will end up on someone's bum. However, I've stopped using the cane coz the last time I whacked Gab, it hurt me more than I hurt him. I thought to myself, why did I become so violent? I resolve never to cane them anymore.

Ivan, my dear Ivan, on the other hand, is getting increasingly naughty. If you should step into my home and find toys on the floor, he must be the culprit. I don't mind him getting out his toys to play, but the thing is, he'll never keep it once he's done with it. Even my magic broom has no effect on him (it worked on Gab though).

Last week, he had diarrhoea and I wondered what he took to make him shit more than 10 times a day. I took him to the poly (yes, the same poly I took Van to just a day earlier) and he was given some medication. I thought the medicine was working fine the day after coz he went to toilet only once in the morning. That was until we had dinner at the Kopitiam at CP. This boy, told me he had stomach ache, so I brought him to the loo, and all that came out was a little sai. We went back to continue with our dinner. He was seated on my lap when I felt something warm on my lap. I took a peek at his underwear. Great work of art. Piccaso would have been proud of you, Ivan. I took him to the loo to wash him up and since his shorts was not dirty, I had him put on his shorts without his underwear.

We went back and I continued with my dinner (I didn’t know what I was eating by then what with all the rushing back and forth the loo). It was then that he complained of a stomachache again. Before you know it, there was sticky gooey sai flowing down his legs. (Oh God, Our Father in Heaven.. Hail Mary full of grace.. O angel of God my guardian dear.. ) I could have recited all the prayers I know, hoping a miracle will happen to zap up the mess, but the reality finally sank in and I had to dash to the toilet (yes, for the x times in ½ an hour) to get me lots and lots of toilet paper to soak up the mess he had created.

I don’t know what had happened to the mess and I don’t wish to know. According to mummy, she had asked the cleaning lady to clean up the mess. Poor cleaning aunty, bless your soul.

You should have seen the chaos that followed and I don’t wish to go into details here. Anyway, we got him all cleaned up and that was when I realized, what is he going to put on? He can’t be possibly going around without his pants. That was when mummy had a brilliant idea. She asked Gab to take off his underwear. Haha.. so there, Ivan had on his gorgor’s underwear. Gab found it so amusing wearing his shorts without his underwear. So there, a day in the life of my family.

Dear Lord, you have answered my prayers many times before and I will continue to pray for guidance, patience and more patience. Help me to knock some sense into this rascals so that they'll understand what a tough time their mummy is going through. Hopefully, if all goes well, their mummy can see them grow up, maturing into responsible adults, and hopefully by then, I will still be in one piece to enjoy my "retiring" years with my dear husband. We pray to the Lord, AMEN.

So Suay

2005-10-06T02:55:00.000+08:00

Gosh.. Why must my Dell fail me when I needed it most at this time?!

My technical advisor is away in China and the laptop has to go away on holiday as well.. the stupid system file appears to be corrupted. And clever me, found a copy of the Windows XP that came with the computer and reinstalled windows! As was expected, all my important files are gone and although I managed to install XP and managed to boot up the comp, I couldn't connect to the internet using my broadband.

Wonder what went wrong? Thank God I have a pc that is still running, otherwise I'll miss my dear husband's emails to me..

Hmm.. I wonder if I can use Skype on this pc? Well, it has to wait, coz I have tonnes of housework piling up, esp my un-ironed clothes, looks like a mountain now.. Fixing up the laptop is so time consuming..

Arggh.. luckily the kids are not back yet, and Ivan is taking his nap! Better get back to my housework before the noisy ones come home from mama's house!

Active or Idle?

2005-10-04T05:23:00.000+08:00

I've just watched the tape on Child of our Time that I recorded on Thurs. Last week's episode was on the subject Active or Idle. I have much to say about this subject.

One look at my kids, esp the boys, you would never associate the word idle with them. At least not during playtime. But when the time comes to keep their toys, IDLE is the word to describe them, spelt with caps lock on.

The old folks would say, "Good, your kids active and inquisitive, good, means they are clever." Good ah? Good when they are obedient la, not when they are active and inquisitive in the wrong sense.

Meal times used to be war time before we shifted to our new house. We didn't have a proper dining table back then, so we had to have our meals in the living room, in front of the tv, coz that was where we usually gather when we are at home. The kids will be running all over, and I have to call out their names for every spoonful of food that I feed them. I'm normally ok for the first 1/2 hour, but after calling not one but 3 names in succession, I get really frustrated, and I mean FRUSTRATED.

Out comes the cane. Out comes the temper. Out comes the screams. This happens almost everyday and I'm getting very tired of this "game". So being active during mealtimes is definitely not a very good thing to have.

So, after moving to our new house, did things improve? Well, yes and no. At least, for now, they are properly seated at their chairs. I just have to call out, "Time to eat!" and the 3 of them will obediently come to the dining table. However, getting them to finish their food fast is another thing altogether. It takes them at least 1 hour to finish their food. One hour is already an optimistic estimation. Sometimes mealtimes will drag on for more than 2 hours. Often, I get so annoyed that I'll go and take a nap and when I wake up from my nap, they'll have finished by then.

I must admit that I shouldn't really get angry with them at all, because my mum relayed to us that my sis and I were "slow eaters" too! Haha.. maybe it's retribution?!

Now, I have a secret weapon to cure the kids' idleness (to keep their toys). I'll just shout at them to keep their toys for maybe 2 times. If it falls on deaf ears, out comes my broom. It always work. I'll start sweeping whatever is lying on the floor and those little feet will start running towards their toys, trying to salvage their toys from the trash bin. It's like magic. All toys will be cleared within a few minutes.

Ken sms me this morning and told me to take things lightly or else I'll go mad. I replied him saying, "It's too late, I'm already mad." He'll be overseas tomorrow and won't be back till Friday. I'm so envious he can take a break from all these madness. Thank God for my parents, who will help me out. Van and Gab will stay over at gunggung & mama's house for a couple of days and maybe then, with only Ivan around, I can have that little break that I had longed for so long.

Dear Lord, I thank you for helping me to see that keeping my cool and providing me with my kids' unconditional love is the best gift I could ever have. I pray that Ken will be safe whilst he's in China. Lord hear our prayer. Amen.

To work or not to work

2005-09-29T09:23:00.000+08:00

It has always been my dream to be a homemaker like my mum. As far as I can remember, she has always been around whenever we needed her when my sisters and I were younger. Which is why I have haboured the dream of being a stay-home mum myself.

After the birth of Van 6 years ago, I have thoughts of staying at home to look after her. However, since papa was newly retired then and had time on his side, we naturally had him and mum to look after Van during the day. It was a great arrangement coz Van is now extremely close to her "gung gung".

Since Van is my first-born, I, like all first-time parents, adore the little girl. She's a sweet girl, hardly giving me any problems. I think of her the whole day, even when I was at work. I would smile to myself whenever I think of the cute things she had done. My ex-boss even caught me smiling to myself one day and asked me if I was thinking of my girl! I will always be the first to leave the office exactly at knock-off time, sometimes even taking a cab home so that I could be with my little girl as soon as possible.

Next, came Gabby. Perhaps I was used to being a working mother then, that explains why I wasn't as eager to reach home fast as I did with Van. Or maybe it was because my workload was more heavy and I had little time to think of the kids when i was at work. Anyway, I even took secret leave to be alone, having my shopping therapy. Why did I called it as secret leave? I thought that if my mum would come to know that I took leave just to go shopping, she would kill me!

I was rather stressed then as not only do I have a full-time job, I also had to do housework when I get home. It became worse when I found out that I was pregnant with Ivan. When I was abt 20 weeks pregnant, Dr C sensed something wrong when she did an ultrasound on me. I was sent to Dr HC, who diagnosed the problem to be IUGR. I searched the internet, wondering what the hell this IUGR is. The article I read are not very encouraging.

Thank God Ivan came out alright though Dr had to cut me up to get him out. Hence my decision to stay home and look after the kids. I have always had this philosophy that if it's your kid, then you have the responsibility of looking after them. I discussed the thought of staying home with Ken and we agreed that once the kids are a little older and able to look after themselves, I will then join the workforce again.

It has not been an easy decision. There are many sacrifices to be made, esp since when once upon a time, when I was financially independent, I had no qualms about spending when I'm out shopping. I have to watch my spending now as we are all relying solely on Ken's salary.

What's even more frustrating is that the kids are not really behaving well. Are all kids universally naughty or is it just mine? Every single day, I'll be screaming at them over the same old things. Keep your toys, stop running with your socks, stop fighting, stop crying, keep your toys, stop screaming, keep your toys.. I only get peace when they are asleep.

Which is why I have been thinking to myself. Should I go back to work soon before I do something unforgiving to the little rascals? But if I go back to work, papa and mummy will lose their free time and very soon, they will be screaming for help also. I can't do that to them coz they have worked hard their whole life and it's only right they deserve to have their own free time. I can't burden them with my kids.

After much thought, I have decided that I'll just have to bear with all these nonsense. I'll just have to see how long I can stand it. If the time comes when I can't stand it anymore, I'll just wave my white flag and perhaps run off and go into hiding.

Lord, give me the strength and patience to go through these difficult period. Lord hear our prayer. Amen.

Nature or Nurture?

2005-09-27T09:23:00.000+08:00

I've been watching the weekly documentary programme on Arts Central, "Child of our Time". The findings the scientists had done are interesting. I have to agree wholeheartedly abt the shyness part.

It's been shown that if either parents are shy, then there is a likelihood that the child will be shy too. How true. I have been as timid as a mouse my whole life. Perhaps my shyness left me when I had to speak in front of hundreds of people due to the nature of previous job. You see, I was an instructor and I had to, against my will of course, to deliver the course in an auditorium packed with working adults. I had sleepness nights before the first day of my lecture, but thank God, everything went smoothly. That happened almost 7 years ago. I've been through many of such lectures ever since and I'm glad I have been nurtured to speak confidently in front of an audience now.

However, it's of little use now because I'm now a stay-home mum. The only lectures I give now are the lectures I give to my 3 kids when they are disobedient. Perhaps I just need to videotape these lectures so that when they need some reminder, I will play it back to them, which happened very frequently.

I was saying earlier if either parents are shy, then the child will most likely to be shy too. It's true of Van. She is shy. Extremely. Other than being shy, she has this funny thing about her. She's afraid of loud noises. People playing drums, fireworks, even Gab playing on the piano! She used to shiver in fright, hiding in a corner, covering her ears with her hands. She must be suffering from some noise-phobia thing, this girl.

She's 6 now. I'm glad to say she has overcome a little of such fear. She used to be scared when Gab is jamming on his toy guitar. However, I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when she was actually jamming to the tune of Linkin Park's Numb. She was having her own mini concert with her brothers being her only audiences. She was jumping up and down, strumming on the guitar, singing "I've become so numb, I can't feel you there I've become so tired....." Haha.. such a funny sight. Of course, with their "tatoos" on their body (remember yesterday's little adventure?), they are such a comical sight.

Gab is the brave one in the family. He's not shy at all. In fact, he's very loud. He speaks to me like I'm deaf although he's just inches away from me. He's not afraid to buy his own drinks or sweets, with me watching him in the background. I'm glad he didn't inherit any of the shyness genes from neither Ken nor me. However, he's a cry baby. He would cry over the slightest thing, which can get very frustrating at times. I wonder how long this cry baby phase is going to last. He's 4 now, so I guess there's a few more years to go.

When one looks at Ivan, you would probably say, this boy, so cute.. He has this cheeky grin that makes you want to hug him and pinch his cheeks. He is in the "Terrible Two" stage now, won't take NO for an answer, and extremely stubborn. Though he's just 2+, I must say he can speak rather well for his age group. He's lucky coz he has his bro and sis to talk to him, and teach him things. A few months ago, I was asking him to count from 1-10 in English, and he surprised me by counting in Mandarin! He must have picked it up from Gab or Van.

I wonder how much their character will change as time passes. I pray to God that shy or not shy, loud or not loud, cheeky or not cheeky, they will grow up to be responsible adults, respectful not only to others, but most importantly, respect themselves.

Lord, hear our prayer. Amen.

Baby face

2005-09-26T23:06:00.000+08:00

I was in the kitchen preparing dinner in the kitchen just now, with the kitchen door closed. I could hear some commotion in the living room where the kids were. They were giggling, laughing, running around, looking at the mirror.

Guess wat greeted me when I opened the kitchen door? My dear Ivan, with "eye shadow" on his lids! Gosh! At the moment, I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.. My goodness.. and it wasn't done with the normal eye shadow, it was drawn "expertly", courtesy of Gab, with coloured markers!

Van has hers drawn by Gab too, but hers is in red. As for Gab himself, he had his nose drawn like a cat. I wonder what his teacher will say when he greets her with a "Meow" tomorrow morning.

That is not all. All of them had their bodies drawn too. Their so-called tatoos. I can't imagine what will become of them when they grow up..

To tell the truth, Ivan's "eye shadow" looks rather nice! 8-)

Ken tried to get rid of the marks on his lid with baby lotion, but the ink still stays. Looking at him lying asleep on the sofa now, I can't help but smile at their silliness..

These are the moments I'll cherish for the rest of my life..

Some thoughts

2005-09-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

Just read my sis' blog.. had a very interesting quote, so I thought I would copy it and remind myself also.

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. -Harriet Beecher Stowe, abolitionist and novelist (1811-1896)

Hmm.. from now on, I have to constantly remind myself that life is really really short and I have to make sure if I die any moment, I'll die with no regrets, no words left unsaid for my loved ones..

This week had been a pretty emotionally-draining week for me. The previous 2 weeks was physically draining. All these draining is making me a very depressed person.

Ok, let's get to the physical part first. We have just moved to our new place after 7 yrs of staying in our old home. I was initially very sad to leave our old home, but after staying in this new place for 2 weeks now, I've grown to love this place. First and foremost, no more wretched lizards! Our old place was infested with lizards. I've got lizard-phobia mind u, so when i start screaming when a lizard is near me, my little Ivan will ask me, 'Mummy, got lizard is it?' HA! Even the little boy knows I'm afraid of lizards!

Moving house is a really BIG project. For newly married couples with no children, and no prior matrimonial home, I guess it's rather easy to get things sorted and moved. HOWEVER, with 3 children and a hubby and mountains of clothes and cutlery and long-forgotten stuff that was stored in the storeroom for the past 7 yrs, it took many many many many boxes to get all things packed. Even then, I still have stuff left in my old house that I dunno wat to do with. Anyway, the move here was done without much problems. After that, was the unpacking. I spent 1 week trying to get things to their proper places. Most of the things are unpacked. After 2 weeks, I still have some stuff that I dunno where to put. And they are still lying on the floor of the study room. Well, when I have the time and the kids are not bothering me, I'll find a place for them.

Now, why was I emotionally-drained this week? *Sob sob*

My kids la, who else can make me so sad? I was telling my good friend the other day, if she should find me dead one of these days, it's either I had died of stroke or heart attack and she should know who the culprits are.

I have no wish to recount what naughty things they had done. I have tried to put it out of my mind. They are kids after all, and though they make me mad every single day, they are still my kids. I just have to pray hard to God that one fine day, my kids will realise what they had done, so that I have not cried those tears in vain.

My Precious Baby

2005-07-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

I've done it again. I came this close to losing Ivan again..

A few days ago, Ivan and I was shopping at Fairprice supermarket. After I had finished with my shopping, I proceeded to pay at the cashier. And like before, Ivan went to play at the $1 slot machine car. I was keeping an eye on him all the while until I needed to pay for the groceries. When I went to the machine car, Ivan wasn't there! I quickly looked around and my heart started to beat faster. He wasn't anywhere around.

I shouted loudly for his name, still no Ivan around. Thank goodness, a few minutes later, I heard the patter of running feet and my precious little baby came running out from the supermarket. You can imagine my joy when I saw him!

He was oblivious to my panic state I was in, all he said was, "Mummy, you see, I am running so fast, like Dash!"

This boy, how can I bear to chide him.

Today, it happened again. Ken brought Vanessa to school earlier so that he can get a queue number earlier for her Pri 1 registration. Being Multi Racial Day, I got Vanessa to wear her Samfu. Gabby wanted to wear too, but he doesn't have such a costume. And being the cry baby, started to kick up a fuss. That was why I had to bring him to school a little later. While I was locking the gate, Ivan went to press the lift button. When the lift door opened, he got inside, which he had never done before.

I was half-way to the lift when he pressed the close button. Oh gosh, I immediately picked up my speed and kept pressing the lift button. It almost closed, but thank God, I managed to open it just in time. Then I was thinking to myself, if he had taken the lift on his own and went out to some other floors on the way down, where in the world am I going to start looking for him!

Dear God, thank you for protecting my precious little one. I'll try my very best not to let him out of sight when we are out.

Last night I saw the news on a 4 year old girl who fell to her death from her grandma's house. I can't imagine what it'll be like if the same thing happened to any of my children. Although they make me angry and frustrated every single day, they are still my precious babies. I love them so dearly and should they be taken away from me, I don't know what I'll do.

Here's to eternity..

2005-07-17T22:00:00.000+08:00

I like putting down my thoughts in words. Why? Because I'm the most forgetful person in the entire world!
My greatest regrets are not journalling down my thoughts during my 3 pregnancies. Now I just have to contend with searching through my "databank" with memories of my past experiences and adventures.